April 5, 2012

Relationships | Secret To Seducing A Woman

Someone that I chat online with every now and then was telling me how much they have enjoyed the ideas and advice I have shared over the past 18 months. I'm flattered because it was nice to hear that my little corner of the Internet actually stuck with someone. I never really set out to create something that worked that way, so that was kind of cool. Goodness, my path to get here is one that has required a lot of work, compromise, understanding and a healthy dose of love, affection, tears and laughter.

I just wanted somewhere to express myself and if it meant something to someone else, that was the bonus.

So after some pleasant and funny conversation about possible second careers for me, my friend suggested I should become one of those seminar leaders that helps men, women and couples have better relationships. Actually one of the suggestions was for me to become a sex therapist given my documented ability to flirt madly, seduce and lead men astray ...

The question posed to me was:

If I had 100 men sign up for my famous course on "How to seduce a woman," what would the first lesson be?

In truth, there is only one lesson you need to know when it comes to seducing a woman - everything that follows after is simply technique and skill.

If you want to truly seduce a woman, before you ever get to her body, you need to make love to her heart and soul.

Women, if you haven't already figured us out by now, are very emotionally motivated people. When it comes to the sexier side of life, ours libido is tied very strongly to our hearts and minds. We need to feel there is a connection between us; an attraction that goes deeper than a bowl of lobster bisque and a ride in your fancy European sports car. Men, on the other hand, tend to be visually stimulated and need to be physically involved in the moment ... their bodies tend to give them away a bit more obviously.

In fact, just the other night I was discussing this with my husband, who (while he has more than occasionally alluded to it) was telling me about how he has noticed my legs a lot more lately. I was secretly hoping he was going to compliment my results from the gym, but he said that what really caught his attention was that I had been wearing hosiery a lot more often. The wearing of the stockings and heels was the initiator of the frequent glances, which fueled his recent appreciation and particular fetish.

For me, knowing that he noticed and the subsequent compliments are what got me going. The personal connection. Sure, it is slightly superficial; but a good part of the game between the sexes generally is. And it was the same with my Office Guy, who I also happened to draw into my devilish little scheme by remembering that he had a thing for stockings and garters. The power of knowing just what I could do was what I enjoyed.

What got them going in return was the visual associated with the stockings and garters, and the chance to actually see me in them ...

And that is a small surface scratch on the beginning of the seduction.

By now, my husband knows if he spends a little bit of time throughout the day letting me know he is thinking of me, the chances of heating up the bedroom when he gets home are significantly better. And it isn't just sexting, stockings or suggestive glances. He has learned to touch my mind as well as my heart through simple things and expressions that say "you are important to me."


Start with the lost art of chivalry. Believe it or not, women worth seducing want a man with manners and an obvious trait of kindness. You can be cocky and you might make me smirk with your flip comments or biting humour at the expense of someone else; or you can ditch the beer-league machismo, park the "I'm not compensating" Beemer, reveal a little of your own vulnerability and make me moist between the thighs. It's not giving up your "man card," it's playing your ace.

My husband will leave me little notes in fun places. Because of the varying work schedule, sometimes I set my clothes out in the bathroom the night before. It's not unusual for me to find little notes in my panties the next morning. Or stuck on my steering wheel. Or in my lunch bag. And what they say isn't nearly as important as what they mean. Silly, cute or romantic, what they really tell me is that I matter.

A couple times I have casually mentioned how I liked a particular new song, only to find it loaded on my iPod the next day.

Even in the bedroom ... he often wants me to enjoy the sexual moment first, using his talents and/or my toys to bring me to orgasm before he gets any action.

Little things that are focused on my happiness ...

Show me the thought and consideration behind them, reach into my heart and soul to say "You matter..." That, my dear students, is the art of seducing a woman.
Andee     xoxo


Jack and Jill said...

Great advice. We've found that there is much mental and emotional foreplay being carried out before things ever get physical.

Andee said...

Thank you. One of the things I always like to share is that a healthy mind is the best sex toy anyone can have.