February 21, 2012

TMI Tuesday | Revealing Sex Thoughts

Hey guys, it seems that my Valentine's Day TMI blog went over quite well last week, so it's making an encore appearance. I certainly enjoy having the inspiration that the questions provide ... but struggle with the idea of just having one day a week assigned to sharing too much information!

For the most part, my sex life is an open book on here. My website and this blog have allowed me to share so much of what goes on in my head - and in my bed - that they have become a key part of my sexual adventure. So to narrow it down to just once a week seems almost too much of a tease. Of course, looking back on everything that has happened in the past few years is one of my favourite things to do when I'm curled into the corner of my couch. I hope you enjoy today's thoughts - and feel free to send me any questions you would like me to dish on.

Once again, this week's list of questions comes courtesy of http://tmituesdayblog.wordpress.com/

List ONE word to describe your last sexual encounter.

Can you recall your worst sexual experience? Why was it so awful? Did you do anything at the time to try to make it better?
I'm willing to bet that there are more than just a couple people like me that rank their first time as the worst. All that confusion over the awkwardness of not knowing what to expect, the raging sexual hormones and healthy dose of fear combined makes it hard to truly enjoy the event that will ultimately change who you are. So for me, I'm sure that a big part of what made it awful was that it was my first time. Sexual inexperience didn’t allow me to know what to do to make it better - and the guy I was with at the time didn't exactly help either.

Without question, sex is the kind of experience that improves with practice. And I really love to practice. You become a lot more aware of your body, how to gauge certain physical reactions and use your talents to make it a mind-blowing, orgasmic experience for all parties involved.

Other than that, I do not recommend doggy style for a position in which to lose your virginity…

Do you fuck outside the box?
We all have a laundry list of things – features, demographic characteristics, etc. that we like and/prefer in a sexual partner. Do you ever deviate from that list? For example, would you ever fuck a guy much younger or older than you? Would you fuck a guy who's a different race than you? Give your example.
I’m open to many different things from a sexual perspective, but so much of my sexual habits are still rooted in the standard that is my "box:" personality is the key, followed very closely by hygiene. I've never really defined my sex life by physical criteria - you know, only been with guys that have this hair colour, that body type, etc. But in hindsight, a great deal of my experience may seem somewhat patterned in the kind of men that have been in my life sexually.

Right now, I don't really fuck outside of the box by many standards because of my marital status. My sex life mostly involves just my husband. We have dabbled with adding some intriguing situations, such as exploring my bisexual interests and a bit of fun with other couples, but those are not an every day thing.

On the other hand, I like to think that my sex life is also a bit outside the box, even though it involves only one partner. This whole adventure for me has opened our minds to new fantasies and experiences that might be considered somewhat outside the norm for many married couples.

But looking at some of the descriptors in the explanation of this TMI question, I can certainly say that I am open to many new experiences. I would have no issue sharing a sexual moment with a much older AND younger guy. Additionally, I also fit quite nicely into that somewhat stereotypical fantasy of a white housewife who would devour the opportunity with a substantial BBC.

All in all, life is too short for hang-ups ... there's no passenger seat, so enjoy as much as you can and don't look back too often with that question "What if ..."

Do you blend BDSM in to your relationship? If yes, just in the bedroom or in other areas of your life? Explain.
BDSM is one of those sexual areas that I have only touched on at this point. I’m not sure it is something that excites me a great deal; and certainly not to the extent of turning my basement into a sexual dungeon. My kitchen utensils tend to be just that - used in the kitchen for the purpose they were originally made.

Having said that, there are moments when the feeling of vulnerability can be erotic. I’m not the dominant type, although will certainly dress up in the role for a hot photo session. I tend to like the lighter side of the whole idea: the occasional being tied to the bedposts with my husband's neckties while he teases and torments my body with his hands, tongue and the occasional sex toy. The sensation of being blindfolded during extended foreplay also gets me going; the hint of not knowing what may come next ... but still in complete trust that nothing will cross the lines of my comfort zone.
When things edge towards pain and punishment, it stops being something that turns me on.

But I also recognize that it can be an exceptionally erotic lifestyle for those that enjoy it.

Does the thought of your partner having sex with another person turn you on? Would you want to watch the act? Would you like to join in?
Hmm ... you would probably call "shenanigans" on me if I just said "yes" and left it at that.

I am very open to the idea of my husband having sex with another woman, and it is something I would love to watch. I thoroughly enjoyed watching him go down on my girlfriend and then tasting her on his lips when he kissed me immediately after. Unfortunately, the couple we enjoyed those moments with just weren't the kind of people that really stroked our libido enough to go further than mutual oral pleasure.

And I haven't kept it much of a secret that both he and I share some very naughty thoughts about me experiencing sex with another man - and another woman again. However, those ideas are still very much in the "development" stage right now. I'm sure many people might find those thoughts kind of kinky, and others might find them something not quite right in a marriage. But to actually sit back and watch your partner in that exceptionally intimate act is a real turn on for us. I guess that's a small part of why we got into our website, and a real motivator in doing the videos.

As for joining in ... I think that is pretty much a given. The only question is at what point in the act should I join in!

Bonus: Fill in the blanks.
I like it HOT on the outside and CREAMY in the middle. 
Andee     xoxo


Jack and Jill said...

Great answer to the "outside the box" question. There are many ways to keep a monogamous relationship interesting and thereby avoid falling into a pattern of familiarity and repetition. It sounds like you and your husband do a good job with it! Though we are primarily monogamous, much of what we have done sexually would probably be outside the norm for many of the people we know. Then again, maybe not! It's difficult if not impossible to tell without actually discussing it, and we find that exciting.

"All in all, life is too short for hang-ups". Well said! *Applause*

Andee said...

Thank you so much...personally I think too many couples choose to allow the negativity in their relationship guide them, as opposed to discovering things together. I can only imagine the fun everyone could have if we were able to be honest and open without jealousy!