August 16, 2011

If I Could Be One Thing In Life ...

You may have noticed on Sunday that I was suffering through a bit of blogger’s block - and a hangover, but that’s beside the point. So, as I was sitting there on my couch in my comfy bathrobe and pouring hot coffee into my mouth, I had a bit of a chat with a Twitter friend.

We were having a nice little back and forth about this, that and the other thing, and I told him about my blogging dilemma. Even though I am guilty as anyone else, I really don’t like to do the constant barrage of “visit me,” “message me,” “support me” type of tweets. While I see they do serve a purpose - because in any kind of “marketing” you have to keep your “brand” in people’s mind as much as possible, but it gets hard to always write engaging, thought-provoking blogs that are not about my photos or videos.

I know – I can hear the moans of disappointment from you guys as you realize that I’m just not that “deep.” But I am cute and funny!

So anyway, my friend was commenting on how I always seem to focus on advice-type stuff, and that it seemed like I actually had something interesting to say … to which I responded with a heart-felt thank you … but he thought I should write something like that other than on my blog. A nice thought, but I don’t know if there’s a lot of mainstream interest in what a pretty average hockey mom has to say about life.

My friend then asked me: “If you could be an internationally known expert in any field, which would it be?”

I say, with all honesty, if I could be that person, it would be about couples’ sex lives.

Now as much as that sounds dirty, it’s not. A little “bragging” perhaps, but one of the things that my friends tell me is that I have managed to do what they haven’t - become comfortable with being a sexual person. Meaning, that I am open-minded and willing to be adventurous when it comes to being intimate with a partner … or two … three.

Being open-minded and allowing yourself to let go of your inhibitions - like a I blogged about on Saturday - is something that I think a lot of couples struggle with. It’s not easy to reveal your deepest vulnerabilities to anyone - even someone who shares such a significant part of your life.

I often hear from my chat friends, and some of my real-life male friends, that they wish their wife was more like me. Flattering, but I ask them what do they do with their own partner to get them to be more open-minded and willing to explore and try new things. Most times they just say “are you kidding, she’d kill me.”

And the funny thing is, I’m sure my husband probably thought the same thing at one point in time … but the easiest thing to do is talk. And not just in the bedroom. I would have to say that the one place my husband and I talk about our love life more than anywhere else is in the car. Sometimes when we meet for a little lunch date on workdays, same thing. Sure we’re very open when it comes to those moments behind closed doors as well. But the big thing is, we talk.

And then I wouldn’t be completely honest if I didn’t say that having this blog for the past nine months hasn’t helped me become even more open-minded. Writing down some of the crazy, intimate details of my imagination has been … hmm … therapeutic? Maybe not the right word, but you can see that what it has done has allowed me to express some very wild ideas. And in doing so, through the words that I write and share with my hubby so he can make it more “blog-worthy” for you, I have been able to distance myself from the fear of admitting some things.

Let’s be honest, you don’t even need to get all that deep into my blog archives to see some of the huge hurdles I jumped from what goes on in my head and actually admitting it. And even through the second-guessing involved in some of those moments of “what did I just do” - and the stomach-turning fear of being judged - well, it sparked some incredibly open conversations in my relationship.

All for the better.

So, if there was something that I could other than what I currently spend my days doing, I would love to be someone that could bring better intimacy to couples … and not in a dirty way. Just good, clean, sweaty excitement … with the occasional live demonstration … maybe.
Andee     xoxo

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