On the flip side, sexually aggressive statements of a graphic nature may not rank as a great ice-breaker, because they don't really engage the imagination.
I like to surprise my husband ever now and then. It helps keep him on his toes, and keeps the mind going at top speed and well-lubricated. And trust me guys, lubrication is not a bad thing … not even close to being a bad thing, so get over it and get it for your bedroom.
So, over the past few months, I have been pushing my vocabulary harder, turning up the heat on my libido, and tempting fate by overcoming my fear of flirtation and sexual interest. In past, there are a lot of instances that I would have been more inclined to hide from him; more so to avoid unnecessary questions.
I have always been a bit flirty. I tended to have more guy friends than girls when I was younger. That may have been because I was more of an athlete than a cheerleader type. And I’m a “touch the arm” kind of person, a “lean in close and I know you can see down my top but let me whisper this anyway” kind of girl. But I have not been the type to intentionally move closer to the edge.
When the heat turns back on me, I tend to run and hide - which is why the whole website experience and blogging has been good for me.
And a bit naïve...
My husband still teases me about something that happened a few years back. I was working at a local fitness club as a receptionist and would often chat with the members. I always considered myself to be friendly more than flirty. Until one day when a guy that I chatted with often asked me if I might be interested in going for lunch some time. I was married, he was married … I figured it was a “friend” thing, not a guy trying to pick me up.
Yeah, OK … I admit that I was a bit naïve.
It was all in the words …
Lately, I have been more focused on how I communicate with the men around me, and have been watching carefully the reaction that it can have. And I admit, I love it. There is something very rewarding in playing the game and overcoming the fear of where it may lead.
Call it “aural sex.”
But at the same time, I have been left with wondering if there are a lot of guys that don’t understand how to play along with that game and recognize that some statements, or words, put a damper on the moment.
When flirting with a woman, is the key to get her into bed ASAP, or build the sexual tension and create an intriguing relationship/friendship?
I’m intrigued … and confused.
However, I’m equally intrigued by how, once the guy gets us into bed, we can turn those words against him and leave him speechless. I don’t mean that in a mean or hurtful sense. But it is something I am enjoying lately as my own sexual adventure is drawing out a lot more dirty talk AFTER the flirting has taken place.
You know, the point where the innuendo is replaced with the graphic descriptions ...
There is one word that I know an awful lot of women hate hearing. In fact, I’ve been told it is about the worst word you can use around a woman. And in about 99 per cent of the cases, I would agree because more often than not I hear it being used to describe her personality as opposed to a body part. Personally, I would be offended if a guy used it the describe me.
But, when used in a more sexually appropriate situation, I was surprised at how excited it made me feel. When my mind was lost in swirls of incredibly erotic and dirty fantasies … well … it made “that word” quiver when he used “that word” in a way that put my mind into a whole new sexual high.
I have also learned that I love using the word in the heat of the moment, when I can sense his ever-increasing desire, as a way to push his own imagination to the point of no return. I think his reaction is more from the point of how unusual it is to hear a woman say it out loud than it is about the graphic name for a body part.
I think you know where I’m going with it.
Anyway, it’s August … otherwise known as those dog days of summer. And a damn good time to practice a few new ways to flirt, a few new words to score with and a few new words to make me talk dirty.