Perhaps on the surface, some of it came about as my husband and I have been struggling emotionally with the trials and tribulations of our oldest child. As he enters puberty, it is becoming more difficult for him to fit in socially; mostly because he is very much an individual. And as a parent it breaks your heart to see these struggles, when you can’t fix it.
The pressures he faces already are daunting - and yet our son (grain of salt here, I am his Mom) is very much a normal boy. He loves sports, his guitar and has a very big heart - but it gets broken constantly as he tries to fit in among all the Justin Beiber wannabes. His downfall is that he wants to have his own style, not model his “uniform” after these fleeting pop stars … and he suffers for it in terms of peer pressure.
|© Copyright 2010 Nick Galifianakis|
Even at 12, image is everything …
As I was writing my thoughts about the whole miniskirt thing, I started to contemplate about our standard of perfection and our constant pursuit of it. Are we as adults any different from that schoolyard? Our whole culture today is built on the idea of being above someone, something, somewhere. We have a large media influence that dictates what we should wear, how we should save, what we should eat … mostly built around our unhealthy obsession with living our lives like celebrities.
What’s funny, is when I talked about this with my husband, he said that society in general forgets that these people the media holds up as examples are actors … professional cameleons. Off screen they’re flaky as a pie crust, yet we see them as the beacons of who we want to be when we should really be paying attention to those who go out and do great things in our communities and the world around us.
When I mentioned the miniskirt survey to a friend who has also been known to wear one on occasion, she scoffed just like I did, so I know I am not alone in my thinking. And for the record, both of us are a touch beyond the best before date set down by the respondents.
Fashion is not built on what we should wear, but whether or not we have the confidence to pull off the daring when necessary - and the uber-casual when necessary. As a culture, we have fallen into the idea that we must be on our game every waking hour … and many of us get trapped in the cycle of keeping up with the Jones.
I’m sure many of you see it in your lives too: the friends or family that live in a constant state of debt because they had to have the 54-inch TV, because Bill next door got a 52-inch. Frank and Sally vacationed at a 3-star resort in Cuba, so Mike and Anne have to stay at a 5-star.
And on it goes until all the credit cards are maxed out …
Over the past few months, as I have gotten better at writing and sharing my thoughts, I also realize that so much of it is extremely narcissistic. Here I am, droning on about me, me, me … but I am also very rooted in my own world, understanding that this whole thing is designed just that way. I don’t think that any of it has been to express anything greater than the fact that I am just a very normal, everyday kind of person.
Obviously the content is designed to intrigue, entice and sometimes excite. I doubt very much that you guys would enjoy hearing about the mundane moments that occur in my life (more often than all the sexy stuff). And my blog and website create part of the fantasy for you - and me - in which I can explore some of my deepest, darkest, wildest dreams. I suppose it is my way of subconsciously breaking that ideal of perfection - because of the naughty nature.
In pursuit of all my sexual adventures and crazy games that I find myself in, I still firmly hold to the belief that it’s OK to be “the girl next door.” It’s OK to be the housewife with Harlequin Romance-type fantasies that never come true; it’s OK to have curiosities about other women, other partners, many partners and daydream on the commuter train.
And you know what? It’s OK to be average.