Honesty | Will The Kids Ever Learn

I was looking through some old files on the computer and I found this one from my old blog – which at that time was a bit of a challenge for me. My old friend “maggies” still pops into my life every now and then, and I thought this was one of the better challenges he issued to me back in the day.

The question was if I was open enough to tell my children about my “extra-curricular” hobby. I have to say, that my kids do not know what my hubby and I do when they’re in bed. Not so much because we try to hide it, but more so because they’re really too young to understand the true aspect of it all; and by that I mean the many layers of motivation and psychology, not just the nudity.

I’m a very strong advocate for teaching children healthy ideals about sexuality and relationships. Even in our own immediate family experiences, we have seen some rather nasty divorces, and the children are the ones who are suffered through it. They’ll likely have a very bad outlook on marriage and dating for the rest of the lives because of the way the saw their mom and dad treating each other.

Personally, I grew up in a very conservative home, as did my hubby. Sex wasn’t a regular topic. It isn’t in our house, but we don’t hide from it either. When my children ask a question we answer it honestly … well, I do anyway. My husband either sits there intently, waiting to learn the answer or he sings the theme from the Flintstones.

But my wish for my kids is that they will grow up seeing that Mom and Dad have a healthy loving relationship that includes affection and the ability to work out disagreements without yelling and throwing things.

One of the main reasons why, at this young age of my kids, that I don’t tell them about what we do, isn’t so much for hiding it from them – I just don’t want them standing at the bus stop telling the other kids “My Mommy gets naked while Daddy takes pictures.” A little innocence is a necessity of childhood!

Will I tell my kids? I know I want my kids to have a healthy understanding of a relationship between two consenting adults. I also want them to have a good dose of respect for others, and not to be judgmental of people based on what they chose to do in private. Perhaps when they are old enough to grasp the idea of privacy and respect for what people chose to do, then it may be a topic. But who knows…

When we decided to move beyond the thrill of taking naughty pictures for ourselves, and posting them on a couple “amateur voyeur” sites, I made the decision to tell my parents and members of my family. I didn’t want them to find out from someone and be left trying to stick up for me without knowing the whole story. I didn’t do it looking for permission, or approval. I just did because I didn’t want them to be surprised. I’m glad I did, because a very nosy cousin (actually two very nosy cousins) decided to shock my parents with their discovery. The shock was on them when they learned my parents already knew.

They continue to try to cause trouble for me and my sister, but we look on at their jealousy – jealousy from a couple people who lead such pathetic lives that they need to tear down others in order to make themselves look better – and ponder with amusement how small their own lives must be. I feel sad for them, more than anger, because they must lead really horrible, empty lives and have horrible, loveless marriages to be so focused on what I chose to do with my husband in my own relationship … oh, and they’re probably reading this too, because even after all these years, they just can’t move on …

So, will I tell my children about the Internet? I probably will when they’re old enough to understand, because I’m pretty sure if I don’t someone else will. Unless, of course, I get that photo shoot with Hef! Then everyone will know ;-)

Andee    xoxo