I had to give this some serious thought, because as someone who is leading a double life of everyday wife and mom, against the secretive reality of amateur porn star, I had to reflect on whether or not I really was. Sure I have a tickle trunk full of sexy lingerie, a drawer packed with a wide selection of sex toys and a sex swing hidden in my closet, but does that make me adventurous - or just normal?
This is all starting to make me look more like little Susie Homemaker than wanton hot-wife.
And it’s not hard to see why many of us think we are adventurous in the bedroom. Over the past few years I have noticed an upswing in my connecting with other women who have found my website. Quite a few have asked for insight on how I got into it, and what it has meant for my relationship. Lingerie has definitely become way more exciting and mainstream … and thank goodness, hemlines have creeped way above the ankles.
Moments like that give me confidence that our society’s hard-line taboos are slowly wearing away. And while I’m not suggesting promiscuity rule the day, for once I would love to be free to express my sexuality, exploits and adventures without fear of losing my job or tarnishing the family reputation (oh wait, my fat-ass busy-body cousin already did that for me).
But this is about the bedroom …
I struggle with the idea what the survey means by “adventurous.” Does the simple act of doing something other than missionary position qualify someone for the 46 per cent? Or do we need to introduce a passion for boudoir enhancements, such as somewhat realistic vibrating penises and homemade sex tapes?
It seems, as I spent some of my Friday morning breakfast time digging into all of this, that sometimes men get the sense that role-playing is adventurous, others want a round-the-world weekend, while others want to call on Charlie Sheen’s “Goddesses” to join in when they have a night off from the Violent Torpedo tour.
At the risk of sounding not too adventurous, I would say that the biggest mountain to climb is the one that frequently appears along the path of a good marriage – communication. You want to have some great adventures in the sack, fess up! I can say I would have never begun my adventures in sexual discovery without talking, talking … some masturbating … and then talking more with my husband about the dreams, fantasies and “bucket list” I have.
Yes, I am adventurous in the bedroom. But that is because I know what my adventure is.
But what makes you adventurous?