February 14, 2011

Decisions | Challenged by Temptation

So, as I told you I was away for the weekend - with a hotel full of minor hockey players ramped up on root beer and vending machine jelly beans. Not the best of weekends for romance and naughtiness.
Day 15 - On The Fringe

But going to a hotel for a weekend - even with children in tow - always seems to be a good motivator for conversations around exploration and adventure. I guess the atmosphere helps fuel the imagination and memories for experiences already passed.

We had a very intriguing conversation about what our “lifestyle” choice might hold going forward. Occasionally we like to take the chance to be as open and honest as we can to understand where each of us is at with our thinking.

I’ve been at a point for the last little while where I am having some internal arguments about our initial agreement to keep things in a more 'soft swap' way. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t challenged during those few moments a couple weeks ago…where everything was literally right there and a simple shuffle on his lap would have taken me from being someone who does soft swap to full.

I wonder if he sensed my temptation?
Day 16 - Office Casual

There was something so exciting, intriguing and tormenting about the moment. I found it was taking everything I had to resist temptation...the desire to feel, even for a fleeting moment, someone new in such an intimate way.

And I remain somewhat conflicted - which many would say is a sign that I am not ready for anything … um … deeper. But I don’t think that is really my conflict. I am not as focused on my own personal pleasure in the idea, as I am about that of my husband. I wonder if the moment will ever come when together we discover a whole new set of 'rules' in the ongoing pursuit of adventure.

PS:  Here and my Twitter account will be the only place you will enjoy the views of my 30 in 30 venture.

No comments: