January 1, 2011

A New Year | A Renewal of Desire

Well here it is, the start of another year. I was reading a great blog on here yesterday by one of my regular reads about how she doesn’t make resolutions. As I was reading I could see myself in so much of what she was saying.

I grew up in a very Catholic house, so guilt played a large role in how we were dealt with as children. In fact, it’s something that still gets thrown out there every now and then…which is now more humorous than repentant. Here’s my parent's lovely little girl with a naughty sex site on the Internet and they think that guilt will make me change my sinful ways.

Anyway, the point being made was about how resolutions have negative connotations; and we’re made to feel a sense of guilt when we fail to see them through. Rather than meet with a constant stream of failure, the idea was to establish goals. Of course, this is not a new concept … and even ‘goals’ make me feel a little apprehensive because it sounds so motivational speakerish, like I should be some super-achieving salesperson.

Sarcasm aside, there are some objectives that I have spent the past few weeks mulling over. This time of year, the weeks leading to Christmas and the emotion of New Years, tend to make me somewhat introspective. While I don’t openly admit to being so caught up in my own hits and misses, I think there’s a little reflection within all of us. And truth be told, I do have goals in my life - most are simple, normal life kind of ambitions: to save for a new car, to finish my career-related schooling in order to advance in my job, to find more balance between the everyday me, the workplace me and, yes, the "Andee" side of me. Some of my goals are very 'sexual' in nature, and there are still some fantasies that I want to become realities.

So, there are some things that I want to see happen, and there are more than a couple things I wish I did better. As I get older, some of these seem to get more urgent, while others become less important. Either way, to pin them on just one 12-month period would be too much pressure. An adventure is also supposed to be an experience … and my deadlines sometimes need to be flexible because my desire often races way ahead of my common sense. I know my husband secretly wishes they were much more in sync.

I believe many of us reach a point where we start to wonder what happened to the dreams, plans and desires. We see that the time has gotten behind us and nothing has come of them. I catch myself doing it a little more these days than in past. When I'm sitting on the commuter train some days I start daydreaming about what has been and what could be ... well, in between dishing my thoughts to this blog and drooling like a teenage girl over some hot guys. From the tattoo on my ass to tongue kissing (oh, and so much more!) with a sexy female friend, a big part of my adventure has been to reach a point where I won’t have to say “I wish I had of …”

With that, today I recognize a need to get myself back on track with pursuing my wildest dreams, fantasies and opportunities. I’ve read back over the many things I wrote since I started this and realize there were some things that faltered between resolution, goal and fantasy. I’m also seeing how this new ‘addiction’ of blogging what is really going on in my mind is going to be a great way to keep tabs on my exploits.

PS: Make sure you slip on over to Love and Lust, and leave a sexy comment!

1 comment:

Snake said...

Good luck with 2011 Andee! Ninety percent is in our control . . . Things happen as we make them happen!

"I believe many of us reach a point where we start to wonder what happened to the dreams, plans and desires. We see that the time has gotten behind us and nothing has come of them."

Very astute observation . . . Then again, you're an analytical science geek . . . lol