And, to be fair, Porter openly admits there was a sense of cheekiness in selecting the title, but also stresses that the vast majority of women she has talked with recognize that MILF is not a derogatory label, but rather a pop culture term of the times.
And, this is where the debate began … as it does when any sexually cheeky materials hit the bestseller’s list.
“I hate, hate, hate the acronym,” says relationship expert Debra Macleod in an article by Joanne Richard. “There’s something so pathetically desperate about a woman wanting to be a MILF … It’s like a woman doesn’t feel she’s worthy unless a man will f--- her.”
Really? Hmm … that’s interesting, because there are some of us out there that kind of embrace the fact that after centuries of sexual repression and religious indoctrination that sex is only for procreation, we simply like sex for sex. Actually, make that love sex … and don’t get me started on just how much I love the idea of a having a man “f---“ me.
Blogger Danielle Smith adds, “The very term magnifies a woman’s lack of self-esteem and her insecurities and plays in to the notion that she needs a ‘sexy’ stamp of approval in order to be healthy and accepted. To that, I say, no thank you.”
Smith bashed the title in a blog at Extraordinarymommy.com and further says in the newspaper article, “I have a little girl who needs to know that self-respect and a healthy body image are priorities. Seeking to be a MILF by following a specific diet puts me in a class of women I have no intention of joining.
“The very term magnifies a woman’s lack of self-esteem and her insecurities and plays in to the notion that she needs a ‘sexy’ stamp of approval in order to be healthy and accepted. To that, I say, no thank you.”
That’s OK Danielle, we’re not sure we have an opening at book club anyway. Perhaps you can find a tidy table for three with Debra and Joanne to discuss among yourselves why 50 Shades of Grey sets women back decades. Order the salmon, the cob salad suggests something way more chauvinistic on the menu.
Reactions like this tend to reaffirm that some women still are not able to exist without hang-ups. It says “I’m not secure enough in my own skin that I have to find reason to be offended.”
And it usually comes from the same crowd who were first in line for Magic Mike. As much as they are against some sort of “male-dominated society” applying descriptors to women, these women turn around and cast equal vitriol at those of us who happen to embrace our “sexy” stamp.
I love this kind of haven’t-been-really-fucked-in-months kind of perspective, because I find it absolute nonsense. My relationship with my husband and with myself goes way deeper than some silly acronym – which, by the way, I am comfortable being called. Sure, it is a bit of a back-handed compliment, but it's still a compliment. I’m flattered that there are men out there who consider me to be such, and trust me, some days I love being treated like a sex object. For all the wonderful sense of emotional fulfillment I get from sensual intimacy in my marriage, there are times when I just want it down and dirty with expletives and raw aggression.
I am a sexual being … and I enjoy being a sexual being. I like knowing I have the choice of seduction, whether I employ it or not. I love the power my sexuality gives me, and I have no issue employing it when it serves my own devious purpose.
But then again, I’m secure enough to say so … and have never been to one to jump on the feminist bandwagon as a flag-waving, card-carrying proponent of “I am woman, hear me roar.” Being called a MILF doesn’t strip me of my power, or self confidence. If you really want to break it down, it gives me even more ammunition for my lofty plans of global seduction … or world domination if I can find the right thigh boots for the job.
Life is meant to be fun and is far too short for hang-ups; not a time to carve out some feminist agenda over silly ideas to market a diet book. Hell, we’ve been accusing men of acting like “little boys” for years … maybe MILF is just a bit of tit for tat.
Read for yourself.
Andee xoxo
2 comments:
Brava! Nothing more is necessary.
Miles
I couldn't have said it better really. I love my MYLF (mother YOU would like to fuck) status and it doesn't make me less intelligent or less capable. In fact I think that the very thing that makes a true MILF so goddammed attractive to men is that they ARE so capable and the DO have their shit together, so to speak. The tag is not just about the woman as a sex object. In my mind it is also about the way a woman can be a mum, have a job and still find time to be hot. These women are attractive because they are free of the hang ups that less mature and the more repressed among us have not been able to shake.
Post a Comment