November 5, 2012

Sex | My Guilty Pleasures

What is it about sexual pleasure that makes us feel guilty? The shadows of our parents’ moral lessons? Or maybe society’s message that some things will forever remain “dirty” when indulged in? Despite how liberal our society has become, there is a social stigma attached to sex as a subject for public discussion. We can share all kinds of other deeply personal information with our peers and social circle, but sex is a taboo no matter how healthy and positive it is.

I'm not sure what it is, but sex remains something we're still not able to be open about. And so, whenever sex is on the menu, someone is bound to suggest we should feel guilty if we are enjoying it – or, in some circles, guilty for doing it for a purpose other than procreation.

What's one sexual guilty pleasure that you wouldn't openly tell your friends about? Why?
I'm not sure narrowing it down to just one guilty pleasure is good enough. There are a number of things that, sadly, I just can't be open about. I live in a pretty vanilla, very stereotypical suburban environment, where the only time sex ever comes to the forefront of conversation is when someone is banging someone they shouldn't be. I think most people are afraid to be known as sexual creatures.

Even this past weekend, my husband and I went to an annual sex show, where we usually scope out new ideas for my website, dabble in a little bit of our kinks, and maybe spend just a bit too much money on toys and lingerie.

So, one of the easy answers for something I would never disclose is the actual number of toys I own. There are a couple friends that know about my turbo bunny – but thanks to Sex And The City, it has been the one toy that is almost acceptable among girlfriends to admit to. But I'm not so sure I could have a similar discussion about my 9-inch black dildo, or the several other vibrating silicone sex toys that fill my drawer beside the bed.

Sex toys, while most women have them, suggest that there must be something else to what goes on in the bedroom – falsely. They have nothing to do with my husband's performance, nor mine. They have everything to do with a delicious enhancement and thrill to pretty much every time we get busy ... and damn, they're fun!

Which brings me to another topic that I just can't really dish on to people in my real life: the sexual habits of my husband and I.

On the way home the other night from the Everything To Do With Sex Show, we were discussing the situation between my Office Guy and I, and where things have gone lately. Save the whole story for another day, but it's just not as hot and heavy as it used to be –and quite frankly, I think my friend is struggling with his own sense of guilt/emotional baggage.

But as my husband was sharing his thoughts on the situation, he said "Can you imagine what our friends would think if they knew about any of this?" The idea that a married woman has the freedom to explore her sexual desires with a man other than her husband ...

Truth is, most people might like to fantasize about exploring sexually, but I get the sense that few ever act upon it – and that is what makes me afraid of sharing anything too personal with those not directly involved in my ongoing adventure.
Andee     xoxo 

1 comment:

Gemma Jones said...

There is always that little fear that people may not be able to see past their predjudices to understand your relationship choices. It has held Jake and I back from revealing our true identities many times.

I was also amused by your conversation with your husband. One of Jake's favourite things to say is "Do you mind if I just borrow your wife for a while."