July 30, 2012

Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now

The other day I had a chance to sit quietly and talk a bit about my current “status” with someone who knows about what is going on in my life. I always appreciate the time to open up to someone in person because, as much as I love sharing with you guys, there is something more emotionally rewarding for me about knowing there is someone not online that can be open-minded about things.

What stood out in the conversation was a small comment about “if you knew then what you know now …” in regard to being sexually adventurous, and how a lot of tend to look back on how we got to a certain point wondering how different things could have been if we weren’t so naïve and innocent.

I can’t say that there is an awful lot that I would change. I got into my relationship with my husband at a very young age, and began to explore the new world of sexual discovery in a way I likely wouldn’t have if I had not met him. I suspect my life would have been much less adventurous because my husband has been such a strong supporter of me pushing the limits and learning new things. When I do have these little chats with friends from my hometown, it doesn’t take me long to see just how predictable their lives have become … and that’s a little disappointing.

Anyway, to the point …

If there was anything I wish I had learned about sex earlier than I did, it would have to be about being more comfortable with my body image.

I know; you were probably waiting to read the graphic details about my experience with anal sex, bondage … maybe group sex. No, all of those adventures came along in perfect time for me. Some early, some I grew into as my sexual courage increased and the right opportunities presented themselves. Plus, with certain experiences, it helped to be mature and secure enough in my marriage to push the envelope beyond what many would consider “normal behavior” for a married woman.

But I wish I had a better feeling about how I looked back then. These days, when I see some of the naughty photos my husband took of me back in those early days, I think “I should have started my website then!”
Andee     xoxo


Gemma Jones said...

A little while ago I was listening to a radio segment where the presenter read a letter she had written to her 16 year old self. The whole segment was very emotionally charged for her as she had apparently had a very difficult adolescense and she told herself a lot of things about accepting her body and having confidence in herself.

The thing that struck me, though was that if her 16 year old self had taken that advice she wouldn't be the person she is now. If she didn't have to struggle through her teens would she have gotten to be wise and grounded in her 30s? It is great to look backwards and wish but it is wasted effort. Everything in your past shapes what you are now. If you chose a different path your final destination won't be the same. So if your present is where you want to be then your past must have been the way it was meant to be.

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Jack and Jill said...

We can relate to the comfort of talking openly with someone in person. It doesn't happen often, but it's nice when a friend (typically not a relative) asks us for advice relating to sex, or in some other way initiates such a discussion with us. Don't get me wrong: We have no trouble being open about our sex life online, and get much enjoyment from doing so. But as you say, there is nothing quite like doing so in person.

I don't believe in having regrets or wishing you'd done something differently; such afterthoughts don't really accomplish anything, and I also believe that changing an aspect of my past would lead me to a different present. Your outlook on your history and where it's led you is quite sensible and refreshing to read.