April 10, 2012

How Much Of This Is The Real Me

People ask me how much of what goes on here, and the other places like my website, is really me - how much of my online life as Andee "transcends" into my normal life and vice versa.

First off, I'm not sure that online or offline I have a "normal life." Nor do I want to. To me that seems like something that suggests you just travel along in life without testing the waters. If there is anything out of all of this that should be equal between the two opposite sides of me is the commitment to living my life with as few regrets as possible.

My blog is closer to the real person than my website, but that is also based more on how easy it is for me to connect with everyone here. My website has a pretty defined template, and is obviously managed by the folks that own Southern Charms. I can't really make it more interactive like my blog or Twitter ... so instead I try to keep you all amused with a bunch of different ways to touch me.

On my website, you will get to see more of "Andee." That part of me is the amateur model, trying to find what you guys like when it comes to the pornographic side of life. She is brave, sexy, outrageous and adventurous ... and hopefully sexually intriguing enough for you to want to see a little more. Andee from Southern Charms can play the slutty schoolgirl, the French maid or the sex-mad MILF ... whereas typically, I don't wear the sky-high stilettos to work, nor do I dress up in a super-short mini-kilt for anything other than photo sessions.

Of course, over the 10 years I have been doing my website, there have been many updates that show more of who I am. I am still a woman who loves to get dressed up for date night, will slip on some sexy lingerie to seduce a man... and also knows that a lot of you want to see the everyday me. So with that in mind, there are still many updates of me looking just like the woman you might see at the local pub or on the train heading to work.

And to be fair, my experience from those 10 years of posing, getting naked, and learning what men like in their fantasies, has also helped me find some willingness to break out of a fashion rut and enjoy some edgy looks ... slip on a sexy dress for work, and wear stockings and garters for something other than a photo session. I can honestly say it has helped me become a little more courageous and adventurous with my clothing.

But, even with those additions, my website is still very much "the fantasy."

I think there is a slight misconception that "Andee" is more of me than she really is. And a lot of that has to do with the environment in which I work and live. Like when I was blogging about talking about sex, as much as I enjoy the subject, it is just not something that I can bring up in conversation with my friends.

Which is why I also believe that my blog allows you to make an even deeper connection to how I try to create that fantasy for you. Here you really get to step inside my thoughts, some of which can be real experiences and others just lustful desires.

Probably what doesn't connect between the two is something I mention every now and then about how this is an escape and outlet for me. It is so much easier to be bold and courageous when you are writing about the things you think about. In my offline life, I am still a reserved and conservative person. When I do crazy things - at least crazy to me - like wear certain things to work, behave a certain way with a man other than my husband, my stomach is still full of butterflies. Those moments take huge leaps, and a lot of encouragement.

On here I am less obsessed with "rejection." If something doesn't fly on here, then it just didn't fit - like if a certain photo set wasn't well received, or a video doesn't sell, or if a blog doesn't rank high for visitors. I can delete a hurtful email and not have to accept where it came from because people hide behind the anonymity of the Internet. But if I was to make a leap in person, like some of those with my Office Guy, and it turned awkward ... I would struggle to get past the embarrassment.

And all the craziness you read about that goes on between my Office Guy and me, this is the only place other than my bedroom with my husband that I could share that. My other coworkers just wouldn't be able to grasp the idea behind it.

And that's just part of it. I can't imagine the scandal if they knew the whole story.

I guess it's a lot easier to be vulnerable online than it is in person.

But, what you do have that is more me than the webmodel fantasy is the thoughts I share. My real life has that as the secret.
Andee     xoxo


H said...

I like the real you....... I wish more woman had your great attitude towards flirting and sex. In short the real you is real close to my ideal woman.

Your the best, kisses

Anonymous said...

Sexy is an attitude, and you've got a really great attitude ;)

Jessi W. said...

I love this post Andee :D)
So well written and persuasive.
We are kindred spirits! I had never seen your blog before I started mine and I have a strikingly similar approach to yours. And interestingly enough I am originally from Massachusetts so I am a Northern Angel too, or devil depending on your point of view. I sent you an emial invite to my private blog..please come visit sometime.