I’m sorry, but looking to today’s crop of pop culture celebrities is hardly sage advice for a successful relationship. It’s hard to even remotely see any credibility in this when, let’s see Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are held up as shining examples of a healthy celebrity relationship. Their “on-again, off-again, didn’t she do Shia LaBeouf last year” relationship is hardly one built on a strong foundation of commitment. And then there’s “you can’t prove I did” nanny-diddler David Beckham and "someone buy her a sandwich" Posh Spice.
I guess the second instalment of the article will include a relationship testimonial from Arnold Schwartzenegger and “How to get your man” tips from Angelina Jolie.
As I watch one of my best friend’s marriage dismantle right now, I hardly think that our relationship role models can be found among many of the tabloid headliners these days. And it frustrates me to think that there might be even one person out there that thinks the secret to marital bliss is found in Hollywood, where everything from the plot lines to bra sizes are fake.
I have said times over the past 10 months that I have been sharing with you guys that my marriage is a marvellous thing. It’s not bragging by any means, but almost a life statement. My hubby and I have seen our share of dark days - including a moment when we each seriously believed our relationship was over.
But we did something that it seems too few people are doing. We worked hard to make it past those differences and repaired what needed to be. Luckily, we came out of all that with a much stronger relationship and a mutual desire to pursue a life of adventure and great sex together.
If I am to base my relationship on what the secrets of the celebrity couples are, then I can say it is doomed beyond belief.
Don’t believe me? Here’s the “expert” advice trashed out by these “pillars” of marital bliss:
- The Beckhams - power yoga. Posh says it’s better than talking. I’ve heard her sing…she might be on to something here.
- Brian Austin Green - TiVO. Apparently Megan records his favourite shows. I’m pretty impressed too. Who knew she could figure out the remote?
- Ashton Kutcher - Demi says he leaves sticky notes around the house. I assume it doesn’t say “Dude, where’s my car?” on any of them. I know he also saw G.I. Jane…when she kicked the shit out of the “dude.”
- Hilary Duff - sends pics of her in the buff to her hockey-playing hubby. I guess when you shower with other men, you might need a reminder of what a woman looks like naked.
- Katy Perry - won’t wear sweats to bed. Oh yeah, that’s one for the next edition of the Joy of Sex.
I’m sorry, but there’s nothing here that truly reveals a successful formula for a lasting marriage. If you really want to know what the secret is - it’s simple. Don’t keep secrets. Talk, share, fantasize together, worship your love, don't be afraid to use a bucket-load of lube and suitcase full of sex toys.
Oh, and bring a healthy does of humour and sarcasm to anyone that says different!
And in case you’ve got it in mind…I’m not ranting. It’s only Wednesday!