May 4, 2011

Sex Scares The Hell Out of Some People

I was reading a blog last week where the writer was talking about how he could discuss just about anything with his 16-year-old daughter, except for one thing – sex.

A for Andee!
He wasn’t saying that they could not talk as father/daughter birds and bees kind of stuff, but that our society has leaned towards a point where pop culture role models spend most weekends in rehab, appear every Tuesday in court to answer for shoplifting charges and “leaders of industry” have been exposed as liars, thieves and cheats.

All of it is out there for discussion, but the one thing that remains hush-hush is one of the most natural acts of our species.

In his blog he was mentioned how it was his daughter that actually brought up the point – curious for a generation that seems to be so much more at ease with the subject than the rest of us. It was she that was expressing frustration with how all the bad things in life have become “accepted and understood” but ideas on healthy relationships, intimacy and that sex is not just for procreation anymore, are see as immoral.

The writer’s question to his readers, and I’m not certain he was being entirely rhetorical, was “Are we becoming more puritanical?”

In my own country, for the most part, we still have a reasonable separation of church and state. Our politicians have not yet reached the stage where religious influence is how the electorate defines them. That’s not to say that there isn’t some of that in there, it’s just not as prevalent as what I see in other countries. I guess you could say that fanaticism has not broached popular thought yet … and yes; every religion has its fanatics.

I think a good part of it has to do with Canada’s mandate of multi-culturalism. And before everyone jumps on me - trust me, the philosophy has many, many flaws and in recent years become a lightning rod of debate and controversy. This somewhat enforced ideology of tolerance waters down the impact when every citizen has the right to their own beliefs; because we let them all in the front door, we don’t see the “Christianity rules the day” attitude in politics. It’s not allowed, and so Canadians tend to argue more about silly things like language rights, health care and hockey.

But in terms of this guy’s question though, I don’t see society as becoming more puritanical as much as I see certain special interest groups trying with increasing desperation to control our morality in a world where access to new ideas is at great heights.

When I was a teenager, there wasn’t an Internet … homemade porn (according to my spouse) was Polaroid snap shots and VHS video cameras. Inside of 20 years (and it hurt to admit that) we can now post photos of ourselves in all our naked glory to millions of viewers in a matter of minutes. Well, that’s the hope for those of us silly enough to try to make a little bit extra in life by being exposed … every housewife who has healthy fantasies and lustful desires can play “centerfold” without having to be Playboy’s vision of the ideal woman.

So, I can’t agree that we are more puritanical; it’s just that we are only now beginning to approach the subject of sex in society from a more experiential point of view. Those of us who have lived in fear of being judged are slowly beginning to come out of the closet a little bit more. We’re pushing the door wider open on tolerance for something natural, as opposed to false wars and mandatory patriotism… and that scares the hell out of some people.

Andee     xoxo


H said...

Very thought provoking. I think the internet has greatly benefitted sexual openess, however allot of the openess is done anonymously.

Andee said...

I think that is the "mandatory compromise" for many. we can explore our fantasies and fetishes more easily, but there is still a social need to hide those kinks, lest we face the wrath of the more judgmental!