I’m not sure why I was thinking of this one; especially since it isn’t something that I particularly do very often … well, almost never …
Phone sex. And I was thinking, what makes good phone sex?
For me, things like that are a bit awkward. Now, I’ve had sex while on the phone, but I’m not really much of an actress, so role playing in person is a challenge. I can slip on the outfit, pose and pretend for the camera, but having to play something up for videos, webcams or phone sex is difficult for me. I still have a fairly healthy streak of naïve small town girl in me - which I’m not ready to hand over just yet.
But that’s not to say I don’t think it’s an intriguing idea.
I guess I tend to be a study in contradictions …
Anyway, I have only ever done the phone sex things a few times, both with my husband and with other guys. When I was dating my husband, and I was at school, we had a long distance relationship. He was working three hours away and seeing each other a lot was difficult as neither of us had a lot of money. There were a few times when we would be talking on the phone and the conversation would migrate towards how horny we were. For us, the phone sex conversation was often about reminiscing over the last time we were together, how good it was to have sex, etc. Never really any kind of role play, just an urgent need to get off.
A couple other times, when he was on the road for work, we would get each other to describe the feelings and sensations as we mutually masturbated. Good relief, as I’m sure both of us would have gone to bed and done the same thing anyway.
And back a few years, at the start of this sexual adventure, I used to spend some of my evenings, when hubby was at work, chatting online. I explored a lot of webcamming and voyeurism. I would chat with guys, flirt madly, tease, flash my tits, occasionally let them watch me pleasure myself and vice versa. Of course, the guys always seemed so willing to let me watch.
The whole thing was very sexually charged, not necessarily cyber sex - because I’m not really that great at typing while having sex either - but lots of conversation about sex. It was different from what I was doing on my website. Many times I would find myself incredibly horny as I opened up my thoughts and fantasies to these guys … and truthfully, I enjoyed the sexual attention and reactions. Sometimes I would sign-off and go and play with my toys, other times - when I was feeling braver and hornier - I would just let them watch (and hope not to get caught!)
As I explored that a bit more, I got to know a couple different guys, became friends … and so the intrigue got the better of me. After you play on camera for a while, you begin to wonder what the next level of fun might be … and so things progressed to dirty talk on webcam and eventually, just for thrill, phone sex.
I’ve thought of phone sex as one of those things that is difficult because I never know what to say to someone that isn’t my husband - and it’s obvious what the intention of the call is about. I’ve tried to see myself as someone that has a bit more to say than “oh yeah” and “that’s right baby.”
And according to a Cosmo survey, 85 per cent of you guys want us to make that carnal call. With that in mind - and my mind does wander into some kinky territory every now and then - I came up with a few tips on how to give good phone.
1. Describe what you like.
Instead of a conversation built around “oh baby,” describe to your phone lover exactly how you like something played with. It's not about what is happening, it's about painting the picture in my imagination of what could happen if we weren't holding onto the handset. For me, I would tell you that if you want to make me cum with those long fingers of yours, you need to massage this little spot just to the right side of my clit … gently at first, picking up speed. Slide your fingers into me and rub along the area on the front just inside me (you’ll know where) to get me and your fingers all slippery and then back to the spot I just told you about. Use all the senses, feel, taste, hearing me moan, etc. But if use smell, you better be talking about perfume or it may be a short call … just sayin’ …
2. Tell them what you want to do to them - based on what you just learned
I want you to describe how it feels to slide your fingers into me - in great detail. I want to imagine that this is something that we do all the time when we are together. I want to hear the lust and desire in your voice as you take along the path, step by delicious step. The key is detail, and lots of it. Just like the real thing, I don't want a guy who is going to rush right through it.
3. Don’t forget the foreplay
Just like real sex, make sure there’s enough of the foreplay to get the imagination going. This is a great time to cover off all those naughty thoughts about French kissing, pressing me hard against the wall and holding my hands above my head while you slide you hand up under the hem of my skirt and pull aside my panties … I want to hear about that assertive side of you, I want to hear how much you wnt me ... oh, and I’m always wearing panties for phone sex; because I like to hear you describe in great detail how you intend to get them off me.
4. Don’t leave them hanging.
Guaranteed someone is going to reach orgasm. Hell, I damn near did just coming up with this stuff! But we all can relate to that moment, just shortly after a great orgasm where we are totally into our own feelings. We need to keep the connection for phone sex, so it’s a good idea to take that moment of nirvana and help your partner reach theirs. Keep the imagination going wild by sharing exactly how it felt, how intense it was, fuel the fantasy as they get closer and closer.
5. Don’t call me in the morning!
Well, as you know, if you have been a loyal reader, I am a morning sex girl. If you call, I probably won’t answer the phone … because I better be getting it for real!