December 16, 2010

Andee's Naughty (Christmas) Stocking

Hey everyone! Only six shopping days left until the day where all of next year’s money drops! 

I don’t know if you have any kind of traditions surrounding Christmas in your house, but in mine we kind have something that is somewhat unique. I was telling one of our friends about my little Christmas Eve Sexy Stocking. This is a little tradition we have (OK, pretty much just him) where he puts together a little Christmas Stocking from Naughty Santa. And like I was trying to get across in the blog yesterday, couples need to keep the magic between them alive. I know lots of guys wouldn't have the courage to go this far, and lots of women who have too many hang-ups to really let loose with their own sexuality.

But what is important? What your peers think of you, or living life on your terms for your own gain? (See my husbands own words later on ...)

My friend said I should blog about it as some kind of advice on what kind of gifts might go into something like this...

While I know all of you have naughty visions of me sitting here in my chair in nothing but lacy black lingerie, stockings and high heels, tonight it’s a threesome because I pinned my guy down to help me with this one since he started it way back when. So, we cuddled into the couch together, put on the Bruins/Canadiens game and figured it all out together. Here's all of what my hubby has to share on it:  

1. A user-friendly, non-threatening sex toy. Let's be honest, most women would find that unusual vibrating beaver with swirly twisty beads and buzzing attachments just a little bizarre - especially if it's her first one. The best toys I got Andee were actually really small vibrators (The Pocket Rocket, which works especially well during sex; and a vibrating finger vibe, that also really gets her off during sex. In fact, I had to replace her Pocket Rocket because the first one wore out - seriously.) If she's experienced at sex toys, simply ask her what she might enjoy trying...the popular one this year in our house has been a vibrating rabbit with a suction cup base - thanks to a certain online male friend of hers. 
2. Gourmet chocolates - a special something to turn her tastebuds on, which can also say "your pleasure tonight is so much more important that your diet...let's indulge and I'll help you burn off those few extra calories!"
3. A picture frame with a sexy photo of yourself...the kind that doesn't have to be hidden when company comes. As hard as I find it to believe, apparently Andee does find me attractive. And yes, it does smack of ego, but when I have to read about her damn train rides and Twitters about some young pup she’s eyed...
4. A CD or mp3 collection of HER favourite music. We have very different musical tastes, so this is one time that I can indulge her in some aural sex.
5. Candles...nothing like lighting a few, and spending a lot of time making out in candlelight.
6. Lingerie that SHE likes. OK, I would love to see Andee in some of the raunchiest, sexiest, kinkiest little leather things out there...but there's nothing sexier than seeing her in something she really feels special in. (Victoria Secrets is truly a man's best friend). Check her drawers for sizes...and know her favourite colour and what looks good on her. Save the schoolgirl look for next time...or Halloween.
7. Sexy jewelry. No, it doesn't have to be diamonds, emeralds or rubies. I bought Andee the sexiest little anklet...drives me crazy to see it on her ankle when she's all dressed up nice and sexy for an evening out. Not to mention, I get my fill of those sexy high heels she mentioned earlier! 
8. A coupon (homemade) for that evening out - with an expiry date. Live up to the promise and you won't be disappointed.
9. Anything from the Victoria Secrets catalog. Forget Jeff Foxworthy jokes. Our's comes to the house in my name, and me and Vicky are close personal friends. Guess what? They sell some amazing clothes too - not just the underwear. Tired of seeing her in that college me, you can find the sexy and comfy in this monthly treasure. And her friends will be impressed; so impressed they might drop by…say what you want, but Andee can have her girlfriends over anytime to talk about lingerie and office skirts. 
  Learn her bra size - quick. Learn her favourite colour - quick. Grab the catalog, if in doubt, buy the t-shirt bra or microfibre "Body By Victoria". These devices, while a touch pricier than Wal-Mart, make her rack look so damn good, you'll drool every time she puts on that tight t-shirt (and she will because even she will see just how damn good her rack looks). Never mind how damn impressed she will be that you know her bra size and colour. (Don't forget the panties that match, for added bonus points)
10. Sexy underwear that YOU want her to try...just one pair. They may not last long on her list (or body). But if the rest of it gets her warm to being playful, those panties might just make it to the evening out (and if you really play her game well, your pocket before dessert comes to the table.)
11. A QUALITY pair of stockings/nylons/pantyhose. Call 'em what you want...just don't shop at Discount Debbie's. Visit a specialty hose shop (Wolford's) or my friend Vicky again. Treat her legs to the best sensation and sexiest look, and you'll be the king. Just make sure she has a good reason to put them on.
12. Massage oil - and a promise to actually give her the massage.
13. An inflatable bathtub pillow. One of Andee's indulgences is a nice hot bath and some alone time. Apparently it helps if she has a waterproof battery-operated friend too.
14. Erotica for women by women. Not the "I was a student at a midwestern college and I can't believe this happened to me..." kinda stuff. Chapters (or whatever major bookstores are in your area) have some great sections on erotica.
  One of the best gifts I had in one of Andee's Christmas stockings (according to her) was a collection of erotica that I had recruited writers to contribute to. I found a few erotica websites that had submitted stories and I e-mailed a bunch of authors and asked if they would tailor some of their stuff to Andee. I gave some of them ideas of what her fantasies were, or what some of her kinks were, and let them do what they would. I then printed their stories off on my home printer, stapled it magazine-style and viola!
15. Adult DVD - but find porn for women by women. Candida Royale is one of the best women producers/directors out there.
16. Funny sex gadgets - little things like sexy buttons, wind-up hopping penis, cock-shaped pasta or mints, etc.
17. Top quality lube - something hemp-based, water-soluble. You might be the love god, but sometimes (especially when toys are involved) even just a touch can help send her over the moon.

18. I left a space here so I could wrap up the idea with the one thing I usually do. I also usually get Andee two bigger gifts on Christmas Eve. One is a sexy outfit that she can actually wear in public. Personally, I think she is so sexy she could wear damn near anything (or nothing), but I also know what she is comfortable with. Ideas - a dress for that dinner date (something really hot, short, sexy and in fashion) with the real person behind Andee. I also get her a sexy outfit that I know will only show up in photographs for her website. My gift to me (and to Andee's fans).

Now, a final word on getting over the "machismo." My friends tease me about shopping for Andee, buying her clothes, underwear, etc...right up until they actually get to see her at her best (which is damn near always). I'm very proud of who she is, and how she I feed my own fantasy by being the one who shapes her look. Andee pretty much wears a very boring “uniform” to work most days...part of her day job reality. If I really want her to wear that skirt, dress, etc...I find the way to get her into it.

So, while my male friends are joking about my relationship with my friend Victoria, and hanging out with our other beer-swilling hockey pals...Andee and I are usually out at dance clubs, adult clubs, or hanging in the hot tub half-naked. Just my thoughts.

Cheers! And good luck...

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