Her point was how more young women today – the under 30 set in particular – were not really interesting in maintaining a sexual relationship with another woman, they just use it as a method of manipulation in the mating dance with men.
I struggled to counter the idea; because I actually believe there are a number of young women out there who play in that sexual grey area. But at the same time, I felt like this particular author was admonishing truly bi-curious women for having the courage to: a) be open to discovering a sexual identity, and b) explore their sexual desires.
Is it true that some women will play the “lesbian” role just to tease and torment men? Absolutely … and some of them see it as no different as picking out a pair of sky-high heels to go dancing in. It’s a visual and sexual stimulant for the guys who will lavish attention upon them. Unfortunately those women, whose stiletto heel height often exceeds their IQ, tend to be the ones who create this kind of societal misinformation.
On the guy’s side, mainstream porn in the modern area has also served them no justice – they expect these little blonde bimbos in size 0 napkins to put on a hot show on the dance floor; as much as they expect a smooth wax job between the thighs if they are ever successful in getting the little ‘punkin’ naked. Their understanding of sexuality is twisted by what they can access so readily, as opposed to the wonderful path of self-discovery.
I spent several years keeping my bisexual fantasies locked away in the deep recesses of my imagination, mostly because I was too afraid to bring them up with anyone. A chance moment involving an equally curious co-worker, a hotel hot tub and more than a few drinks gave me the bravery to drop a hint. Lucky for me, that was all it took to kick the door wide open to greater discoveries.
But then, my interest wasn't so I could sexually torment some guy into lusting madly for me and opening his wallet to fulfill my gold-digging dreams. No, I was already in a stable marriage and beginning to feel comfortable with my curiosity without having any stigma attached. That said, it is still something that remains very much in the closet in the majority of my daily life - few people know about it and I intend to keep it that way. I'm not about to fly any rainbow coloured flags on Pride Day because there are still many in our society who look upon confused hetrosexuality with contempt and disgust.
I would like to think we are finally seeing some acceptance in society of women being allowed to openly explore their sexuality without being labeled a slut, whore or any other derogatory name that is so often applied. But at the same time, I'm not sure we benefit from sexual psychologists suggesting this is nothing more than a trend.