But before I get into the individual numbers, let’s clear the air on a few that just rank on here because of … well, because:
- Anything by Celine Dion
- Anything by Justin Bieber
- Anything by Alanis Morrisette
- Anything by Nickelback
- Anything by Gino Vanelli and/or Corey Hart
OK, what about those little ditties that come to mind when things are getting dirty …
Andee’s Seven Songs Not For Sex
Can’t Touch This by MC HammerApart from the parachute pants and funky sideways shuffle … um … isn’t the whole idea of getting down and dirty to be able to touch a whole lot of it? It seems, in my experience, that the guys I have been with have the opposite complaint: they are always wanting me to touch it … with my hands, my tongue, the inside of my ….
Don’t Want No Short Dick Man by Salt N PeppaOK, I have tried very hard to continually reinforce the premise that size does not matter. Seriously guys, I would rather you be average and have amazing talent than hung like a horse and have no clue. And at the risk of losing my union card, there really does need to be “some” size for my personal tastes and pleasure. But at the end of the day, I don’t think any guy needs to have two angry black female rappers questioning his manhood.
Dude Looks Like A Lady by AerosmithI have an open mind when it comes to a lot of things. But I have never been into the idea of a man who can share my make-up and wear my lingerie. Call me choosey, but I like my men to look like men.
That Smell by Lynyrd SkynyrdEvery now now and then, I enjoy a little southern rock groove ... except when the song distinctly asks aromatic questions. Seriously, not a good inquiry in the heat of the moment.
Material Girl by MadonnaYes, for a role-play scenario, her “Like A Virgin” can be fun … and I am of that music generation. But I don’t want my guy to be getting into the hot and heavy with me as Madge sings about diamonds, pearls and expensive champagne. Seriously, the less expensive stuff feels just as good when you lick it off my body.
I Feel Like A Woman by Shania TwainUm, you know I have bisexual interests. Shania’s video for the song sometimes leaves me drooling right along with my husband. And there are many, many times that I have openly thought “yeah, I feel like a woman” when it comes to some between the sheets strumming. But probably not the greatest song for the guy in that moment. Wait … I might have that wrong. There could be another side to this one.
That’s Not My Name by the Ting TingsApart from not even qualifying as a one-hit wonder from a few years back, the repetitive “That’s not my name” from the singer might leave that hook-up as a hang-up. If you’re banging me, you damn-well better at least know my first name. Oh, and if Salt N Peppa aren’t talking about you, I might even accept you calling me by my Internet name!
So, there you go; a few songs that won’t make it on my “Let’s Get Freaky Friday” playlist. I’m sure you have your own worst songs … anything really outrageous?