This Thursday is a bit of a Q&A, with questions that seem to come up every now and then when I get into chatting with online friends, and it’s something that I continually struggle with - partly the fear of being found out, and partly the torment of not being able to say "you should see how I spent last night!"
|Day 19 - Guaranteed Lay|
Do any of your family or friends know of your extracurricular hobby?
Only a very select few of my friends know about my site - and almost none that have children my kids are friends with. I'm very choosy about who I tell. It has to be someone who I have a great deal of trust in. Even if they are really good friends, I have to decide if I want them to know and see me that way because my experience has shown it changes how they treat me.
I have one good friend who is very uncomfortable with the subject and will change the subject or find something to do, even if it isn't about me directly. The funny thing is, she hangs out with a friend of mine who is totally cool with it and often likes to ask questions. Makes for a pretty bizarre moment when we‘re all together. But even though she knows, I trust her not to pass judgement on how or why and I respect her wishes to not go into any kinky details.
And then there are the little innuendoes I can throw out there to amuse myself in a group of people that have no idea about it - there has been many a flirtatious comment laid out on the table at work with my Office Guys to leave them with naughty impressions. I may be naïve about it, but I like to think they have no real clue that when I answer their questions about “How was the weekend?” with honest-to-goodness truths about swinger clubs or light bondage and sex toys.
No one has painted a scarlet letter on me just yet, anyway.
If so, do they accept you, or, have you lost friends because they disapprove of your lifestyle?
Their reactions have been very different for those that know. Some just avoid the subject, some think it's pretty cool and some tell me they wish they had the courage to do it. I've not lost any friends because of it, but I think that is because I am so choosy about who I let in on my little secret. On the other side, some friends - as you have read in an earlier blog - have certainly become a completely different kind of friend because of our lifestyle.
Now then, on the downside, I have a cousin who uncovered my sister's website through another person who had a really big mouth. In turn, they found out about my site and felt it was their place in life to inform my parents and entire extended family about what we were up to. I had chosen to tell my parents out of respect, so they wouldn't get sideswiped should this very situation occur. At my age, I wasn't looking for their approval, just didn't want them to find out from someone but me.
Some people in life need to tear other people down to make themselves look better. But really, it highlights just how pathetic their lives must be. I think it's more sad that they don't have a strong relationship with their spouse, and explore this kind of adult fun.
Have any of your women friends inquired about how they could discretely get into this hobby?
A few years ago, my sister found out about it and she got into experimenting with her own thing on the Internet. She has since quit for her own reasons. Another “lifestyle couple” we know also experimented with a site on Southern Charms, but have also since quit … but it can be a commitment of time and effort that isn’t for everyone; especially if you lead a busy real life.
But otherwise most of them are more worried about the consequences of being out there if they do try something naughty online. The fact that there are a lot of people who aren't as open-minded means the reality is I could lose my job because of it. This is something they worry about, and therefore won‘t even consider the risks. Some aren't so sure that is where their own relationship is at that kind of stage either.
For me, there is no doubt that a lot of things in my life will be different down the road. My political ambitions are pretty much out the window, as is my future as a Hollywood A-Lister. It seems only the B and C list celebs have their own sex tapes, and goodness knows I have dozens already and I’m not quite done!
Kidding aside, the reality of having an adult website - even if I choose to stop - means that the fear of being “outted” remains over my head. For whatever reason, the pursuit of sexual pleasure and the indulgence in “pornography” remain as very serious taboos in our society. Until we change our approach to what consenting adults choose to do, and invite other consenting adults to enjoy the moments with them, well … it just has to stay as one of my “dark secrets.”
That said, in the grand scheme of things, I think the benefits outweigh the negatives, as it has been worth it because my husband and I are so much closer and have a great relationship. I wouldn't trade that for anything … not to mention all the incredible sex I've had because of the photo sessions too ;-)