30 Random Things For A Friday

Like a few other updates that have happened over the past few days, this one has its roots in a previous blog that I wrote on a different site. I think it’s still kind of fun and covers off a whole whack of “too much information” about me.

I thought this might be something light and fun for a Friday. You have probably seen a few of these “random facts” blogs, so I hope it’s not too boring. If nothing else, if it spurs you to ponder any curious questions about me, please send them my way. I am always looking for new ways to involve you in my blog, and also to write about ideas, topics and interests that appeal to you. Otherwise you are just stuck inside my own head – and that can be a dangerous place to find yourself on the best of days!

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing?
Married, quite happily! But occasionally playful in the right moments!

2) Are you happy with where you are?
Extremely, except for financially, but isn't that the case with most people?

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
No, I tend to be a bit more coy and cautious.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes ... and more than once.

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
No, but with good communication and a mutual adventurous spirit, why cheat on your partner when you can explore together! ;-)

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
No. I would struggle to regain the trust and I think that would prevent the relationship from healing.

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
Several times ... but I am married after all.

8) Do you want children?
I already have two. Now we’re trying to adopt a dog.

9) How many?
The two I already have. Unless you meant the dog, then we will just stick with the one.

10) Would you consider adoption?
Yes. Especially of the dog.

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know?
Be straightforward, talking is always a good thing. As I get older, the more I recognize that “games” can quickly get off track. If you want an adult relationship, start out by being an adult. Save the games for between the sheets when everyone is horny and naked.

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
Am I hard to get? Hmmm ... I really prefer to play getting it hard.

13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating?
Completely. But most of my dates are with my husband, so it’s very safe to play the “game.” Fun, even. Especially when he is creative with the plans for the night!

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
Yes.

15) Are you romantic?
Extremely.

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
I believe you can ... but more times than not, I have seen it for the worse and not the better.

17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object where would it be?
In some incredible European castle.

18) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
Yes. Some of them are even good.

19) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldn't?
Yes.

20) Have you ever broken a heart?
Honestly, I don't know.

21) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other?
You wanna piece of me? But quite honestly, our relationship is such a way that I would rather just hold the camera and watch intently.

22) What would you say about your last ex?
Where's a speeding bus when you need one?

23) Favorite sex position?
Well, seriously ... do I need to pick just one? Anytime I'm getting some is a favourite position. But if I really need to pick just one, I'll say doggy style 'cause it feels so good and deep.

24) What turns you on the most?
The first thing I notice about a man that I have just met would be his hands. Then his smile. On a deeper note, I get turned on by a guy who can make me laugh, smile and appreciates my twisted sense of humour. Finally, if he gets the chance to bed me ... those hands better live up to all the expectations in my imagination! ;-)

25) Does size matter?
Sorry, but yes. But maybe not quite like what many guys think. Truth is, while I have never been with a guy like this, but too big can be a bad thing. You want something that fits, feels good. But having said that, no matter what, the guy needs to know how to use what he has.

26) Most times in one day?
Six

27) Most orgasms in one session?
I'm usually good for two, but then after that things tend to get a little numb as I am one of those women that needs a little extra help getting there.

27) What do you think about during sex?
Depends on the sex and the partner. Mostly I think about the sensations I'm feeling at the moment, and perhaps the events that led up to getting into that position. Rarely does my own mind wander away from what is really going on.

28) Ever had a threesome?
No, but I have had a foursome with my husband and another couple. That said, a MFM encounter is very high on my list of desires – and something I am working actively on achieving.

29) How often do you masturbate?
Four to five times per week if I'm getting regular sex that week. But like everyone else, some weeks the motivation just isn’t there, and others the motivation is really there!

30) Do you like oral?
Yes, I've been told it's one of my better bedroom skills by more than one guy ... and girl. In fact, I’ve blogged at length about it …

Anyway, hope you enjoy this little tongue and cheek bit of TMI for this week.

Andee     xoxo

 

Dancing Towards a New Career?

Some time ago, I wrote about how the laws had changed where I live regarding work visas for exotic dancers. The government clamped down on granting such visas to foreign women who come to Canada to earn a living as a stripper. The strip club owners, in turn, made a big splash about how this would limit the number of available dancers for their stages, and how they would now be forced to recruit young college-age women to fill the need.

On and off, the conversation around this has continued among some of my coworkers – surfacing recently when one went off on a rant about how her husband joined his friends for a few drinks at one. That rant is best saved for another day, but regardless, I always enjoy when these topics begin swirling around because I can occasionally shock the shit out of people by chiming in with an opinion they surely didn’t expect.

Well, you have to amuse yourself somehow …

All of this reminded me of an article I read a couple years ago about how in this economic struggle we are in, some women are turning to exotic dancing and adult entertainment as a way to make ends meet. The lure of a potential annual income of $100,000 to $300,000 annually in some of the premier men’s clubs – even in tough times – appears to be too much to resist.

I think I also shared way back then about how, given the right opportunity, blend of alcohol and distance from my home, I might be encouraged to get up for an amateur night. Now, far from being judgmental about it, I did find it interesting to read because it is something that tells what I see as a bigger reality out there. If you consider that this current recession is the first one to occur at a time when women are truly independent. Even some 20 years ago – when I was but a wee girl – the mentality wasn’t nearly as accepting. Not that I would suggest it has changed dramatically, because I am certain that many of these ladies are still facing the scorn of a drunken crowd … and a few angry wives.

But it is intriguing because, at a moment in time when the idea of “amateur” holds a particular appeal, here are housewives, bank tellers and former corporate types, doffing their panties on stage and shaking what Momma gave them.

The article said clubs, adult magazines and porn producers are seeing an influx of applications from women who have college educations and were previously well employed. Some have even used their past as part of their onstage personas to underscore the changes … and appeal to that certain fetish about seeing the boss in her business suit strip down.

I know it works for me when I get all dressed up in professional attire and reveal teasing glimpses of naughtiness under my hemline. And I love how my Office Guys react when I put on my best suit for work.

I suppose for some, the idea may seem somewhat desperate. But given that all of us – men and women – get naked at least once a day for free, is it so bad to try to make the best of the moment and benefit financially? I’m not sure I have an answer, but I can see the appeal … just from my own experience I have noticed that more and more of the guys I have talked to like the idea of “amateur” over “professional.” There’s just something more erotic about seeing the “real girl next door” naked than the one’s airbrushed and pretending they could live on your street.

Andee     xoxo

An Authentic Brunette's Random Thoughts

For me this one is a bit of a personal debate as I ponder what will come next for my hairstyle ... although I have never thought of going blonde ... I found this little interesting argument online at a "mail order bride" site (don't ask).

"Since time immemorial, poets, writers, journalists, social scientists, talk show hosts, you name them, have struggled and fought to answer the question that burns in men's minds: Which shade of woman is preferred and why...blondes or brunettes? Are blondes better lovers? Are brunettes better suited in the boardroom? Can blondes be trusted? Is a brunette a better mate?

Blonde hair is unique in that it typically darkens with age. So a blonde woman gives the impression of being younger, more able to procreate. Theory has it that men have subconsciously developed an attraction to mate with women who appear younger, thus increasing the chances of having children. In northern climes, where survival of the species is paramount, one school of thought believes blondes developed genetically in order to attract more males and therefore increase the odds of maintaining the species.

Lighter eyes are a more desired trait as interest, such as in a male, is more easily seen in the pupil dilation (the signal of interest) of a blue-eyed women versus those of a dark-eyed one.

As early as the 14th century women were dying their hair lighter in order to look younger and become, they believed, more attractive. This is true in many traditionally dark haired areas of the world, for example Latin America, where a lighter haired and skinned woman is more highly prized than her brunette counterpart...so they say.

However, studies have shown that corporate entities seem to favour brunettes as managers and executives as illustrated by the size of their paycheck over those of blondes. Another study espoused that brunettes are preferred by men as mates and are more trustworthy and loyal. If you want to have fun, go with a blonde. But marry a brunette..."

So ... brunette or blonde ... maybe I might find a good wig for a photo set or two!

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Make You Famous

Kind of a treat for you guys … tons of reading material today; with me playing catch-up on some of my TMI Tuesday updates. Of course, I know a lot of you are here strictly for the words – and the photo updates on Miniskirt Monday and Topless Tuesday have absolutely nothing to do with our time spent together!

Either way, I remain hopeful that you find something to enjoy in all of this silliness that has consumed me for the past couple years.

This TMI Tuesday was rather thought-provoking for me; not so much for the answers that I have to regretfully confess, but the fantasies that could be had if the opportunities were really there. The theme is built around fame and sex. Although, I have it on good advice that being famous does not necessarily make you good in bed … nor does being anonymous.

But, unless you are a Kardashian, you probably aren’t looking to become famous just for sex … and supposedly “leaked” sex videos of you fawning your way through some poorly “scripted” random sex scene with a D-List almost celebrity.

Anyway, on to the answers you seek about lil’ ol’ me and my somewhat publicly anonymous sex life …

Have you ever had sex with someone famous or who later became famous, if only locally?
Well, two thoughts on this … and forgive the vanity for a moment.

My husband, who shall remain nameless, previously held a rather public job that required him to be known on an international level. He also has a pretty solid background in the "local" entertainment industry. But is he famous? Not even close.

Then there is me, anonymous offline, but have a respectable following online gained from 10 years of being a Southern Charm. I’m not saying this make me “famous” in the Hollywood sense, but I can say there are hundreds of thousands of men (and women) that know my online personality quite well.

In the spirit of Six Degrees of Separation, have you had sex with someone who had sex with someone who … someone famous?
Not that I know of … my last boyfriend might be lucky enough to have sex with something out of the agricultural community, but famous? I doubt that. My husband has never indicated if he actually has … and to be honest, I’ve never pressed him for any information on it.

In the opposite direction, have you had sex with someone whose name you didn’t know?
No … I’m not that wild and crazy enough to hop into the sack with someone who I don’t have some sort of emotional connection to.

Someone whose name you knew then but have forgotten?
No … but my list of sex partners is short enough that my memory is not challenged that way.

Someone who you suspect may have forgotten you?
I doubt it … because I am just that damned good! LOL

No, as I said, my offline life has been somewhat vanilla up until the past few years. The people I have been sexually connected to are likely to remember because those moments were monogamous relationships of reasonable length. In other words, no one-night stands for me.

BONUS: Someone you wish you could forget?
See the first part of my answer to question 2. Truth be told, it’s not that I want to forget someone, I just wish the relationship had been different. I was too anxious to give up my virginity and probably like so many other women, would have waited for a different time to have sex for the first time than I did if I had known at the time.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Slipping In The Backdoor

The following questions were part of last week's TMI Tuesday, but through a variety of reasons, I was just not able to get to them on time. Having had the chance to revisit the questions, I have put together some of my thoughts. I don't mind saying that the past few weeks, with a Movember theme, has been a very good creative challenge – and has opened the doors to some good conversations that may not have been high on the list of things I need to know!

1. When was the last time you or your loved one had their prostate checked?
For hubby, that would be last year. However, other medical situations have brought him into semi-regular contact and examination by his doctor, so I’m sure the red flag will pop up on his chart shortly.

2. Besides a medical professional, how many other people have had their finger up your ass?
I really had to think on this one. I’m going to say three, but one of the three is me – and the other two were for purely sexual reasons.

3. Have you ever given or received a prostate massage? Did you like it? Did you cum or orgasm?
That would be a “no” followed by another “no.” My husband – whom I have been with for over 20 years – is not a man who is interested in being the receiver when it comes to anal play.

4. Do you enjoy anal play – rimming, fingering, penetration, etc.?
While it has taken me a long time to become comfortable with it, I totally love anal play now. We haven’t actually had anal sex in quite some time, but have introduced a few different toys to the mix – and good lord, it feels friggin’ incredible.

5. Ever had anal sex?
   a) No, and I don’t want to.
   b) No, but I am dying to try it.
   c) Yes, but it is just okay.
   d) Yes, love it…can’t get enough of it.
   e) That’s the way I like it. Anal sex is the best sex.
I’m going to say I am slightly past c) on this question, but not all the way to d). While it has been a long time since I had a man’s dick in the back door, I love what we have introduced to our sex life. My husband has found a couple different toys that enhance the experience – and contribute to the overall mind-fuck around the idea of having two men penetrate me at the same time.

6. You are about to have anal sex, which method would you choose (You must choose one):
   a) Finger up the ass
   b) Prostate stimulator/massager
   c) Penis–real or strap-on
I don’t really consider a finger up the ass as actual anal sex. To me that is really just a semi-regular part of our sex life anyway. These days, I prefer a sex toy that my husband bought for me; it is perfect for adding the right amount of feeling without stretching me to the point of discomfort. However, I don’t mind the idea of having a nice hard penis slipping into the backdoor, given the right amount of lubrication and foreplay. But, truth be told, right now I find the mind-fuck around the idea of a DP while I have a nice hard penis inside my vagina and my delicious toy buried in my ass to be the perfect combination.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | What I Like In Porn

Had you asked me a dozen years ago if I ever imagined myself being even remotely involved in the “adult entertainment business,” I would have scoffed and said “not a chance.” Obviously, with the passing of a few years, my thoughts on that have changed dramatically.

I don’t think many women ever grow up dreaming to be in porn; although I suspect more than a few of the younger generation are much more willing to exploit it for what they can these days.

That said, I still don’t consider myself to be a “porn star” of any kind. Quite honestly, I’m just a “girl-next-door” with a slightly kinky and anonymously public hobby. And some days I’m not sure that we’re even really remarkable at doing that much. My website isn’t exceptionally dynamic – the images and some of the content I post there are unique to me, but I know there are other sites offering way more than I do. I guess how I do see my site is that you get the chance to slip away from the “air-brushed perfection” of most Playboy models and get to see the reality of a very normal Canadian woman.

That is really the premise of “amateur porn.” Yes, as a model my hobby does bring in a little extra disposable income; but trust me, there are no plans for me to retire to the glamourous shores of southern France. Amateur porn has certain grown in popularity and availability thanks to the Internet. And technology has also helped improve the quality of what we can offer. My very first “naughty” photos ever taken were on the “hush hush” platform of Polaroid!

And so, from a model and participants perspective, I have been able to see how the secret world of Internet porn has changed over the past several years.

As I get to know a few of my fans – and truly some have become longtime online friends – the question seems to occasionally come back to me about the kind of “porn” that captures my attention from the “consumer” side.

I was in my teens when I first saw any mainstream porn. My parents were among the first to install one of the original satellite dishes, and with the programming package came Playboy TV. My brother certainly was thrilled! And, I don’t mind admitting that I also enjoyed some of the shows from a “curious” perspective. I certainly saw a lot of things that made me go “hmm” and even a few that made me go “mmm.”

But as I grew up, and became more sexually open and adventurous, mainstream porn didn’t really appeal to me. Like a lot of women, I found it was generally about some fake-titted blonde getting hammered by all kinds of men over the span of about 90 minutes. After about five minutes, even the best of these “epics” tend to become routine. I wanted something that had a plot – or at least something close to a plot.

What I wanted from porn was something to engage my imagination. As much as I would like to think getting pounded by six different guys on the office desk would be sexually fun, watching an actress fake her way through 90 minutes of supposedly amazing sex just for the sake of getting pounded by six different guys in black socks doesn’t capture my imagination.

I then discovered a whole new line of porn, made by women for women. The getting pounded on the office desk scenario came with a story that helped set the stage for a fantasy I could almost believe in.

And that’s really where I want my porn to go … I love watching the sex, but I want to enjoy a little mind fuck along the way. I want to know how and why she ends up on the desk, and what is it that makes her lust for that moment. Women need to have that level of attachment to the moment – we need to be able to imagine ourselves in that setting, and we need to understand the reasons behind it. We don’t want to be just a receptacle for a bunch of muscled male actors who never seem to understand that leaving your socks on for sex looks damn silly.

Andee     xoxo

Grey Cup Sunday

"The reason women don't play football is because 11

of them would never wear the same outfit in public."
Phyllis Diller

My Growing Interest In Lingerie

Over the past couple years I have developed a taste for nice lingerie; partly due to my evolving tastes in what I personally think is sexy, and partly due to the reaction it produces at home, at work and within myself. To say that looking sexy and feeling sexy is not an ego boost would just be misleading. As a woman ages, she needs even more reassurance that she still has the feminine ability to attract men.

And even though we have great sources for lingerie these days – places like Fredericks of Hollywood and Victoria's Secret – I think a lot of women have given up on the “old-fashioned idea” of sexy. It doesn’t help that pop culture has turned overtly slutty into the modern ideal of socially-acceptable sexy, but as long as size 0 models with size 0 IQs continue to flaunt it as fashion, well, we’ll just never get more women into the idea.

Lingerie has been reduced to seemingly only involve matching bras and panties these days. Of course, the traditional two-piece ensemble are an amazing part of any girl’s trousseau, but I can’t help wonder if there are other younger women out there that have a daily interest in sexy lingerie beyond just two pieces. And by that I mean, lingerie for the sake of personal interest, not as stage clothes and photographic wardrobe.

Without question, the modern idea for many lingerie enthusiasts remains steadfast in its connection to naughty Santa's helpers and Valentine's Day attire. But what about discovering the sexiness of wearing lingerie on an every day basis?

Yesterday, one of my newest pieces of lingerie made its debut on my website; and from all accounts so far, was well-received. I know it sure as hell was well-received at home – and I have every intention of seeing exactly how it might work for me at my work.

I think the idea of lingerie for something beyond posing for a camera is finding the balance between "feeling sexy" and "made for sex" ... because there is a very distinct difference. I can wear the feeling sexy lingerie all the time - including when sex is on the agenda, but I'm not sure I can wear the made for sex lingerie under a sexy dress for a day at the office.

In a way, my hobby has been a key determining factor in my desire for sexier underthings. I’m blessed with a husband who recognizes the need to keep my drawers filled with naughty lace things, and have developed a few friends with guys who enjoy seeing me in items they have bought for me as well. Of course, it’s hard not to have fun when those things combine all for my benefit.

Andee     xoxo

My Love For Nice Lingerie

"If your wearing lingerie that makes you feel glamorous, you're halfway thereto turning heads"

~ Elle Macpherson

Sexy new update, brought to you by a special friend on mine!

See ALL of me here!

Andee   xoxo

Honest Sex Is A Beautiful Thing

"Honest sex is a beautiful thing, perhaps the most treasured human experience possible. But too often, it gets twisted, tortured, and comes out in ways that destroy the object and the owner of that lust."

One of the Seven Deadly Sins, lust drives the human spirit almost as intensely as love. Rooted in a more carnal level of desire, it can be difficult to resist and almost impossible to deny. It's a deep desire for knowledge, sex and power - often wrapped up in a complex tangle of mixed emotions.

Looking For The Emotional Connection

There’s a small part of me that is amazed at how some people can just get down to business for the sake of getting down to business. Perhaps it is my sexual history, and that I have always been in a somewhat monogamous situation since I was 15. Or maybe it’s just because I have a slightly romantic outlook on sex.

When it comes to intercourse, one of the most important factors for me is having an emotional connection. I think that is why I haven’t always been the greatest participant our “swinging experiment.” I just couldn’t get into the idea of separating the act from the feelings – and I don’t mean the physical sensations.

Defining what “emotional connection” means seems to be one of the biggest challenges in the ongoing debate between Mars and Venus. Men use sex to create deeper emotional connections with their partners, while women need to feel that connection in order to be sexually involved. Naturally, take these as slight generalizations, but they seem to be a fairly common perspective.

For me, the emotional connection isn’t this great epiphany … in fact, it means more about whether or not I like the person that is becoming involved in my sexual experience. Do I like them as a person? Do I find them to be someone who I could be friends with beyond the bed? Do understand their perspective on the same kind of values I hold outside of sex? Are they only motivated to get into my panties, or would they give me the time of day knowing that may never happen?

In other words, do they see me as only a receptacle for their erection, or do they actually give a shit about me as a person?

An emotional connection doesn’t have to be about love, romance and red roses. And it isn’t to be confused with physical attraction. It just has to be something more than an animalist, no-name fuck in a bathroom stall after a few drinks at a nightclub.

Is some of it tied to my upbringing and strong Catholic morals? Probably … and there’s likely a connection to the messages that society pushes onto us – women aren’t meant for “casual, meaningless sex.” Well, only if you want to be labeled in some unflattering way.

That said; one-night stands still leave me with many curious thoughts. I’ve never had one … never really had a great opportunity to fulfill one; well, not that I’m ready to admit too. But I am fascinated at how some people I know have found themselves in these moments and have no regrets over them. Seemingly there is a whole realm of psychology behind how this can be; and I have no doubt the same shrinks would have a field day with some of my sexual desires.

For me there is a very naughty appeal to the fantasy of “stranger sex.” It’s another leading fantasy many women have; where they encounter a handsome stranger and share an incredible moment of life-changing intimacy. But the fantasy isn’t about meeting a mysterious stranger; the fantasy is about a desire for newness and discovery. It’s about letting go of the safety net and falling into a situation within our minds where we are still very much in control of the outcome.

And I think that is where I frustrate my husband sometimes … especially when it comes to the idea of exploring more in the swinging lifestyle. As exciting as the idea of it is, I lean much more to the voyeuristic side of the lifestyle and can’t see myself going along for some random meeting where we all know the true objective.

I guess I’m still trying to discover the whole “sex for the sake of sex” ideal, rather than a moment of intimacy with both a mental and physical reward.

Andee     xoxo

It's Bound to be Erotic

One of the most obvious things about me - if you follow any of the drivel I write on here and my Twitter account - is how much I enjoy reading. I think it is a bit of a lost art in today's culture, as I know too many people who could use an introduction to a good book; such as a dictionary or Grade 8 grammar text book.

And while a lot of what I read may not rank high among literary masterpieces, quite a few always lead to some interesting debates. These days it's hard to find anyone who does not have an opinion on the most talked about book of 2012, Fifty Shades of Grey.

The naughty, but not exactly well-written, trilogy has opened the door for many conversations and now, some 10 months since the books peaked in popularity, there is a bit of a baby boom ... and no wonder. Regardless of your or my opinion on the quality of the writing, pop culture consumed these en masse. And couples were all of a sudden exploring in the bedroom.

Heck, even at the Everything To Do With Sex Show a few weeks back, almost every vendor was trying to capitalize on the increased interest in bondage.

I mentioned that in passing to a few of my more open-minded coworkers and we soon found ourselves immersed in a discussion on what is erotic and what is too much.

I have some pretty clear rules when it comes to exploring the world of bondage, domination and submission: nothing that causes pain; nothing that humiliates; and nothing that crosses the line in terms of our marriage vows.

Outside of that, there are many aspects of the "Fifty Shades" experience that excite me; and I'm not even touching on the ridiculousness of the plot. I have no delusions of meeting a rich, young, handsome man with nothing better to do in life than strap virgins onto a St. Andrew's cross in a personal playroom somewhere in Seattle.

One of those aspects is how in my own bedroom, things have been a bit more "bound and determined" when it comes to being playful. Being blindfolded and teased is a highly erotic experience for me. It touches on a desire in me to be dominated, but at the same time falls right into my safety zone. For my husband, it allows him the opportunity to do some of those things to me that I typically do to myself. He can indulge in the erotic thrill of my forced orgasm, using a toy on me while I am totally incapable of bringing myself to one.

Eroticism requires a heightened level of anticipation. It goes beyond just the physical stimulation, but plays on the imagination at the same time. Which means the unknown of what sensation to expect next when being blindfolded enhances the excitement for me ... and I know I'm not alone in this. Ethel Person of Columbia University reports that 51% of women imagine being forced to have sex and another 33% get off on pretending to be a slave who must obey a man’s every wish.

And it's not just Person saying it. According to many studies, exploring a submissive role is one of the leading sexual fantasies for women. Psychology Today estimates that between 31% and 57% of women entertain fantasies where they are forced to have sex.

For many women, it is a safe way to be bad, permission to be naughty in a way that is still a little shocking.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Erectile Issues

Movember is in full-swing and in keeping with the theme started last week, here is a set of very fine TMI Tuesday questions from long time blogger and frequent TMI Tuesday question contributor virtualsin.wordpress.com.

Now, to be honest, this week isn’t going to provide you with an awful lot of TMI about me, as the questions are very distinctly focused on the male condition. I’ll do my best to offer some insight along the way, but I hope you’re not too disappointed.

Some men who have been treated for Prostate Cancer are unable to get an erection.

1. If they were treated with surgery, the usual reason is nerve damage. They may have success with a penis pump. Question: Have you (or your partner) ever used a pump? Did it work? Was it a turn-on or a turn-off?
No, neither of us have any experience with a penis pump. Bicycle pumps, air mattress pumps, water pumps, a sump pump at an old house and even the occasional fist pumps, but not penis pumps.

2. If they were treated with radiation, the usual reason is damage to blood vessels. They may have good luck with Viagra or one of the other impotence meds. Question: Have you (or your partner) ever used Viagra, Cialis, or similar? Did it work? Any interesting side effects? Any 4-hour erections? Tell us how you made use of that ;-)
 I had exposure to Viagra once…I accidentally inhaled it when I was making a prescription for a dog at an animal pharmacy I worked at way back. Keep in mind, Viagra was actually a cardiac drug with an intriguing side effect before the marketing campaign kicked off.

In my experience, all it did was make me feel a little flushed … and made my nipples stick out for a couple hours. Ok, maybe kidding about the last part of that.

3. Some men may opt for a penile implant. See http://www.urologicalcare.com/advanced-ed-treatments/types-penile-implants/. Do you have experience with a penile implant (as owner or lover-of-owner)? Did it work for you?
No, I do not have any personal experience with penile implants. I’ve had a few penises “implanted” into my various orifices; of which some were artificial penises. I always enjoy those moments. But again, I think that’s a bit different than a man who has to resort to surgery in order to enjoy a sex life.

4. If they were treated with hormone therapy (e.g. Lupron Depot), they may also lose all libido. I can’t think of a good question, but if you have a story, please share.
I don’t really have an appropriate story about libido loss in this case…but maybe someday we’ll talk about the high and lows of libidos in marriages, and how they don’t always intersect.

5. Some men diagnosed with Prostate Cancer change their diet or avoid certain foods. Did you ever change your diet for health reasons? How did it work out? How long did you stay on the diet?
Both times when I was pregnant I had to change my diet, mostly because there were some foods that I just couldn’t eat without feeling nauseous … and some of those today still bring back those sensations. I haven’t really made too many dramatic changes outside of that on a personal level, but I’m dealing with a situation right now where a family member must change their diet due to a food allergy we have discovered – and it totally sucks.

6. The prostate is a sexual organ, and treatment of the prostate changes the sexual experience. A man who has had his prostate removed does not ejaculate at orgasm. How would you react to a total lack of cum?
For me that would take a lot of getting used to.

7. Although removal of the prostate reduces the intensity of orgasm in the pelvic region, some men report orgasmic feelings in other parts of the body, some describing a “whole body orgasm.” How cool is that?
I would hope that for a man who has endured the removal of his prostate that he can find some sexual satisfaction. Unfortunately, working in health care, I have heard far too many stories on the opposite side of the argument – to the point where a couple have expressed regret over the surgery, saying they wished they had opted for alternative treatments.

8. Do you think a man treated for Prostate Cancer deserves a blow job? If yes, please email Virtual Sin aka SinnerMan…
I’ll see if I can’t tickle your inbox ;-)

Andee     xoxo

Sex | The Unexpected Moments

There is something to be said about still being able to be surprised sexually at this stage in my life. It's not that I have a wealth of experience compared to some of the people I read about online, but knowing what a lot of the people in my offline life think, I've done a lot. And while I know there are so many things yet to be discovered, and many things that I would love to do all over again, what really gets me going are the spontaneous sex acts that still pop up every now and then.

To me, there is something really erotic about a sexual moment that is completely unplanned.

With that in mind, when this question popped up a while back, I thought it would make for an intriguing Formspring Friday update.

What was the most unexpected sexual experience you've ever had?

There's a few spontaneous quickies that easily come to mind, but the biggest unexpected sexual event in my life has to be the time when my husband and I literally could not wait to get home to get busy and we ended up parking on the side of a quiet dirt road and having sex in the cornfield.

Sure, it may not rate as wild and crazy as going at it on the elevator ride to the top of the Eiffel Tower, or having my skirt lifted from behind in the middle of a concert while the crowd rocked out to some hair metal. But for me it marks the real beginning of my sexual adventure ... the point in time when all the pillow talk and heat-of-the-moment fantasies turned into reality.

I've blogged about it before, but as a refresher ...

We had made all the plans to visit a lifestyle club after doing some research and careful planning. The night turned out to be quite hot - including me dancing topless in a crowd of people. That was a huge leap for me in my discovery. After having the time of our life at the club, we headed towards home. It was in the car when we realized just how horny we both were - now away from the music and crowd and able to talk about things. I was so turned on that it didn't take much for me to lift up the hem of my tiny dress and proceed to masturbate myself to two quick orgasms.

It was more than my poor husband could take ... he found a remote side road, backed our car into a field lane and then proceeded to drill me hard from behind. I left the handprints on the back windshield for weeks as a reminder of our naughtiness.

Sure, not as crazy as a lot of other people's experiences, but for me at that point of time in my life and marriage, this was a huge step towards a whole new level of intimacy in my relationship with my husband and myself. I learned so much about myself during that experience - which is what made it that much more unexpected.

On a more strictly-sexual level, the most recent unexpected moment came this summer following a coworker's stag and doe party. My husband had been toying with me all day about wearing a sexy little skirt and going commando. Knowing this was a party where people I worked with would be, I was reluctant to fulfill his wish outright. Close to the end of the evening, I slipped into the ladies room, removed the tiny panties I had been wearing and upon returning to our table, slipped them into his pocket.

In the elevator ride down to the parking lot, we enjoyed a very passionate kiss and quick fondle. I was expecting a bit of a playful ride home - much like the earlier description of me masturbating in the front seat as we cruised along. As we got to our truck, my husband pulled me along to the back and picked up on the kissing. As he did, he slid his hand under my skirt and began to play with my wet pussy.

Then, unexpectedly, he dropped to his knees, hiked up my skirt and proceeded to lick me thoroughly. After several minutes, he stood up and kissed me deeply so I could get a very delicious taste of me on him. Just as I figured I was going to get another good pounding from behind, the interior light from a car parked a few down from us came on. I'm not sure how long - or even if he was - sitting in the driver's seat, but part of me still gets a little excited by the idea that we may have given him a great late night show.

Once we got home, I led my date down the side of the house and then gave him a blowjob as a little extra something to end the night.

Andee     xoxo

My Sexual Insecurities

It’s kind of funny ... not one of those funny “ha ha” moments, but one of those “why do you ask” situations. I don't think it has been much of a secret over the past few months that I have been taking my fashion choice for work to a little sexier level. If you follow me on Twitter, or keep up with the occasional tale on here, you'll know what I mean.

The other day I was asked if I had some sort of “agenda” for these recent changes in work wear; as if there was something behind my decision to go beyond my comfort zone. It’s been a little better than a year since I began to dress up more frequently, and without obvious reason such as a meeting or presentation. One of the big motivators in me stepping beyond the lab coat and scrubs has been a feeling of insecurity; and a need to reassure myself that I can still turn the head of a man that isn't my husband.

This is even more important to my emotional state of mind following a tediously long stretch in the lab where we are not allowed to wear jewellery and/or make-up. Say what you want, but for some of us that leaves us feeling more vulnerable than standing naked on stage in front of thousands of people.

I think it's fairly natural to suggest that as a woman ages, she has feelings of doubt as to her sexuality and attractiveness. The diet, fitness and washed-up celebrity endorsement industries rely heavily on this phenomenon. Without our feelings of "less than perfect" there would be dozens of 80s sitcom supporting cast members working stage shows in the Poconos – not to mention a library of self-help books doing nothing but collecting dust.

On a personal level, I have found myself being remarkably surprised at how much I enjoy the transformation – and challenge of finding my "sexy" again. I work in an environment that doesn’t always allow me to feel remotely that way and so when the opportunity arises these days, I have this desire to make the most of it.

I don’t have a problem exploring what it takes to indulge in the sexual me and touching the line without crossing it. OK, some days I like it when that line is very grey; not quite 50 shades of grey, but fuzzy and not so easily identified.

I admit that I like the attention I receive from my Office Guys and some of the other men at work. I like the extended glances from the power suits and the flirty smiles in the hallways.

Does it define me as a woman? No; not in the least. What defines me as a woman is the love I have from my family, the role I play as a wife and a mother.

Some might think it is rather superficial – however, even the superficial in life has the power to influence one’s mood and add some positivity to a person’s self-esteem. And as much as we need the emotional fuel for the soul, we also need a little stroking here and there of the fragile outer ego.

A woman also wants to be appreciated for all those superficial, societal ideals – her style, her sexual prowess and willingness to play the combined role of Madonna and whore. We want to be respected for our intellect, but still lusted over. And we do want to catch you looking at our cleavage or checking out our legs in that miniskirt.

We don’t want to have to explain how all of that fits into this really complex double standard.

The other side of this relates to my husband. While I am not a fan of shopping, and often admit to having no sense of real style, he loves both – and I’m the lucky recipient of his passion for that. I have a closet full of great clothes thanks to him, and he constantly encourages me to step out beyond the standard comfy go-to clothes.

And those days when I am feeling a bit braver, slip on a nice dress and maybe some risqué lingerie underneath, I can count on a constant flow of suggestive and ego-boosting texts from him. It doesn’t hurt that if he thinks for a moment that another man may show a peaked interest, he becomes incredibly turned on. And it doesn’t hurt for a moment that all of those influences help ramp up my flirtatious courage.

All rewarding for me.

And one of the real benefits of having this forum to express myself on is that I can share what goes on in my mind, for better or worse. It helps me keep in touch with some of my own fantasies, think through some twisted ideas and plot out my scheme for global domination one stocking leg at a time ... hence your weekly treat of Thigh High Thursday.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Porn Star Moustache

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Sex | My Guilty Pleasures

What is it about sexual pleasure that makes us feel guilty? The shadows of our parents’ moral lessons? Or maybe society’s message that some things will forever remain “dirty” when indulged in? Despite how liberal our society has become, there is a social stigma attached to sex as a subject for public discussion. We can share all kinds of other deeply personal information with our peers and social circle, but sex is a taboo no matter how healthy and positive it is.

I'm not sure what it is, but sex remains something we're still not able to be open about. And so, whenever sex is on the menu, someone is bound to suggest we should feel guilty if we are enjoying it – or, in some circles, guilty for doing it for a purpose other than procreation.

What's one sexual guilty pleasure that you wouldn't openly tell your friends about? Why?
I'm not sure narrowing it down to just one guilty pleasure is good enough. There are a number of things that, sadly, I just can't be open about. I live in a pretty vanilla, very stereotypical suburban environment, where the only time sex ever comes to the forefront of conversation is when someone is banging someone they shouldn't be. I think most people are afraid to be known as sexual creatures.

Even this past weekend, my husband and I went to an annual sex show, where we usually scope out new ideas for my website, dabble in a little bit of our kinks, and maybe spend just a bit too much money on toys and lingerie.

So, one of the easy answers for something I would never disclose is the actual number of toys I own. There are a couple friends that know about my turbo bunny – but thanks to Sex And The City, it has been the one toy that is almost acceptable among girlfriends to admit to. But I'm not so sure I could have a similar discussion about my 9-inch black dildo, or the several other vibrating silicone sex toys that fill my drawer beside the bed.

Sex toys, while most women have them, suggest that there must be something else to what goes on in the bedroom – falsely. They have nothing to do with my husband's performance, nor mine. They have everything to do with a delicious enhancement and thrill to pretty much every time we get busy ... and damn, they're fun!

Which brings me to another topic that I just can't really dish on to people in my real life: the sexual habits of my husband and I.

On the way home the other night from the Everything To Do With Sex Show, we were discussing the situation between my Office Guy and I, and where things have gone lately. Save the whole story for another day, but it's just not as hot and heavy as it used to be –and quite frankly, I think my friend is struggling with his own sense of guilt/emotional baggage.

But as my husband was sharing his thoughts on the situation, he said "Can you imagine what our friends would think if they knew about any of this?" The idea that a married woman has the freedom to explore her sexual desires with a man other than her husband ...

Truth is, most people might like to fantasize about exploring sexually, but I get the sense that few ever act upon it – and that is what makes me afraid of sharing anything too personal with those not directly involved in my ongoing adventure.

Andee     xoxo 

Hall Pass | Not In The Traditional Sense

Like a lot of people, I have certain ... um ... desires about expanding my list of sexual conquests. It's a healthy fascination, because the human brain needs to be stimulated, as does the female imagination. At the same time, that doesn't necessarily mean that I am continually on the prowl to fulfill that desire. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So, every now and then I receive an intriguing question from someone that allows me to explore some of those imagination-stimulating ideas and share them with you.

Do you have a ‘hall pass?’

Kinda sorta ... depends a lot on your real definition of a "hall pass," and even then with conditions attached. In my case, it’s just a complicated sort of predicament.

Of course, this idea moved to the forefront of our culture after a really bad movie a couple years back, in which a group of married men were given a “hall pass” by their wives. I won’t go too deeply into the storyline ... I think the fact it bombed at the cinemas pretty much tells the tale best. A silly premise based on an expression in use since the 1960s.

But, in urban terminology (hey, I looked it up, OK) a “hall pass” is time off from being in a marriage. It’s one spouse granting permission to the other to go about the length of the “hall pass” as if they were single. It's the foundation of "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" mentality, except with a hint of permission. So in that sense, I don’t have one, nor do I want one. I love my husband, I love being married and I love sharing the adventure with him. So to deny him the opportunity to share in that would be beyond me.

Now, all that said, there is a sort of intriguing agreement in place within our relationship: while we don’t consider ourselves “swingers” by any traditional definition, there are a couple open doors should the right opportunity surface for us to introduce another person into our sex life. And, if you have followed along for a while, you know that this has been a big part of my adventure.

Andee     xoxo