Regrets | No More Wild & Crazy

Happy Hump Day everyone! I know some of you have been taking a little more personal interest in me and my life away from the website and blog, so wish me luck. The exam I was supposed to write last week is scheduled for tonight. Thanks to Mother Nature, we got an extra week of study time.

I’ve been packing so much of my spare time into all of this school crap that I kind of forgot how much of a good distraction the Internet can be. I managed to slip on for a few minutes last night and catch up with some friends and fans.

I was telling them how much I never wanted to have to go through this regulation process for my job again, and the conversation just kind of went from there. We started going on about the things we would do again, and the things we would not … and so, I have kind of pilfered today’s mindless drivel from that. Hope you don’t mind.

What is the wild and crazy thing that you have done that you will not do again?

Oh, that’s a good question. At this stage, I’m not sure. There are a few things that come to mind … but I have always tried to live by the mantra “Never say never.”

And there are many things that I can say I wish I had thought through a lot better before I tried them. I’m not sure if those things qualify as true regrets, but some things could have been approached a bit more carefully, considerately and privately.

I don’t have any regrets about my website, but if I could do it all again, I would definitely keep it more private in my real life than letting some people in on it. I’ve never aspired to being a mainstream ‘porn star’ - am glad I’m not - but you would think I am given how some relatives have carried on. I could have done without having nosy cousins try to stir up family bullshit and gossip. They found out through someone else that I figured I could trust explicitly ... Sure, they may have found out anyway - and I certainly don’t need their approval - but it might have softened the idea for my parents.

The other easy one that comes to mind is something I hinted at in a previous blog. And it’s not even that significant, but a different decision may have turned out better. If you recall the story about when I was at a conference with my coworker and we started fooling around - the wild and crazy thing I will not do again is drink so much that I am not able to finish my evenings without confirming my curiosities. I really do regret that we ended that experience without knowing what the next steps could have been.

I bet you guys were expecting me to say stuff about sexual experiences that I’ve had …

I think there might be only one thing I could say in that category, and it’s not so much the experience as it was the people involved. Great couple, great experiment … want to try more of the fantasy, just with people that bring more of the sexual chemistry to the moment.

And for my sexual expedition, I think that is really the foundation. I do want to try new things, I am willing to be a little wilder and crazier – as long as there’s no pain involved and no one gets hurt (emotionally or physically). But in my own mind, I don’t think that any of where I have been ranks particularly high on the “wild and crazy” list.

So, truth be told, there is nothing between the sheets I would take back, and there’s nothing wild and crazy I have done already that I don’t want to try again. Some things rank as “won’t be sad if I don’t again” while others rank pretty high on my list of “must try again.” But that might be best left for another blog!

Andee     xoxo

Get Her to Pose For You | Tip #2

Long before I met my husband I did some actual modelling. I worked with a couple different photographers at the time - one of whom won an international award with a photo he took of me. I learned a great deal in those days about how to work with the camera and the photographer - because those are two very different things, believe it or not.

I know some people who get very nervous once a camera shows up, and so it does take a bit of time to learn to be relaxed and forget as much as you can that someone is taking pictures.

Posture & Angles

The biggest tip I can pass along from these early days to anyone who has to be in front of the lens is know your facial angles. For me, now that I am no longer a teenager, is how to keep my chin at a flattering angle to prevent the appearance of the dreaded ‘double chin.’ And trust me, even if you are a ‘perfect weight’ stunning woman, the way the neck flows into the jaw line will create a double chin regardless. It’s the way we are built. Even those size-0 underwear models.

When I get a little absorbed in a photo session - because let‘s be honest, it‘s not a typical thing to be standing around in your living room on a Tuesday afternoon dropping your knickers - my photographer will occasionally remind me to lift my chin. He knows that the better I look in the photos, the better results for you guys, and the better I feel about it from all points of view.

If you have to remind your lady as you take the photos, don’t sugar-coat it - BUT don’t say “lift your chin cause you got two chins.” Trust me on this; say that and you won’t even be taking family vacation snapshots at Disney World. My photographer just says, simply “Chin up” and keeps shooting … same with the “Suck it in” for these days as I’m not in the same shape I was back a couple years ago. But that’s changing ;-)

And give direction to her. Tell her when a pose isn’t working, and compliment the crap out of her when they are. Someone I know personally that owns a very good digital camera sometimes forgets about these tips - so make sure you remind her to ask you how she is doing as the session progresses.

Which brings up a good point here. No one is perfect, and no home photo shoot will ever match those Playboy sets you like so much. Unless you’ve got several thousands to drop on a stylist, props/backdrops, lighting (more on lighting coming up). Having said that, it pays to look at magazines like that - together - to find poses that you like and then can try to mimic in your own session.

A couple other tips about angles:

1. Don’t have her stand square to the camera. Turning the hips and shoulders will make a person seem slimmer and create more flattering lines.
2. Remind her to keep breathing naturally.
3. Get her to use a variety of facial expressions and don’t always look at the camera.
4. Have her use her arms - hands on hips, breasts, above her head - instead of just hanging down on the sides.
5. For great cleavage, have her: lean forward; bring arms together at the waist and clasp her hands together at the waist, keeping her arms straight at the elbows; or cross her arms.

Andee     xoxo

Double Fantasy | She's Getting It Good

Where I work, we often have a good chuckle at lunch about the “advice column” in one of the local newspapers. Most of the time, something cheap and tawdry is going on with someone and someone else is writing in begging for insight.

Today we had a really good giggle over one written by a husband. His wife had recently developed a close friendly relationship with a gay man, who had been previously married to a woman and had children with her. The wife’s friendship had intensified after the pair of them started going to the gym. They have a habit of going for very long lunches together (four hours), and she will not shed any light on the subject for her husband.

The part that got us talking was that the husband believes there is no sex going on between his wife and this gay friend.

I’m still laughing.

The reality here is that this new “friend” was “formerly heterosexual.” He admitted to the wife that sex with women wasn’t “any better” than what he is having now … which means it might not have been “any worse.” He now has male friends that he enjoys. Um … can anyone see how this plays into the wife’s fantasy? A new male friend that knows what sex with a woman is like, that can bring a male friend along for “lunch.” The perfect sexual storm – no commitments, no fear of emotional baggage and the perfect “beard” in someone she can defend with “Oh, come on dear, he’s gay!”

Surely the husband can’t be that naïve to miss how his wife is living her “double fantasy” with this situation?

The advice columnist’s answer was equally laughable: the husband needs to ask the wife in a non-confrontational or accusatory manner what this new relationship provides her that their marriage does not.

Hello! She’s getting twice the biscuit!

She’s got this double life going – a “stable, socially acceptable” marriage and life in the suburbs, while downtown she’s getting it everywhere she wants it – and a cardio workout to boot!

Now then, for me personally, the idea of two men is a delicious fantasy that I hope to someday make a reality. BUT I’m not a woman who wants that fantasy to include watching the two guys together. Call me narrow-minded when it comes to the concept of male bisexuality, but I am totally with you guys on the reality that a double standard exists: girl-girl is acceptable, enjoyable and I have more than participated in it; guy-guy remains somewhat awkward in my mind. I don’t know why, even though I have gay male friends (not like this woman though). If I get the chance to fulfill my own fantasy, the pleasure must be all mine … I’m greedy that way.

I’m thinking this woman has shrewdly managed to have her cupcakes and lick all the extra icing too … and now I’m thinking I’m jealous. What do you guys think?

Andee     xoxo

On Fashion | 'Borrowed' Hints on Sexy

Hey guys, well not sure about where you are, but here we’re in the midst of a season change and pretty much everyone is desperate for some warmer weather. Late spring and early summer is really my time of year. I love the warmer weather, which means getting to show off a bit more style and fashion – without the humid summer making you sweat when you’re not doing anything worth getting all sweaty over.

So, as I was spending time this morning doing things I really shouldn’t have been doing, I copped out a bit on blogging some totally original thoughts and found some of interesting fashion advice I would throw your way to help get the girl of your dreams into some sexy outfits once the parka has been shelved. Not to mention, my Miniskirt Monday photo asks about “office distractions” and rumour has it, it’s something I’m very good at.

And just to make it interesting, I added my own little thoughts – not that I’m a fashion icon or anything like that. But I sometimes find some of this stuff is totally not for the average, everyday kind of person: five-inch heels might look great when they’re pointed to the ceiling, but you get a whole different look when you wear them for lunch with the CEO!
 
Six Items Every Woman Should Have

"While we can’t enough of shopping the hottest new trends of the season, we also know the importance of having a handful of wardrobe staples that are always in style—regardless of the season or the decade. Here are six items no closet should be without:"

1. Dark-Wash Denim
Finding the perfect pair of dark-wash jeans is like finding fashion nirvana! Not just easy-to-wear, they can also be dressed up or down, making them one of the most versatile items in your wardrobe repertoire. Don’t know whether to go for the skinny jean look or the wide-legged flairs of the moment? Either style works, but curvy figures find the best fit in boot-cut or wide-leg trousers, while slimmer frames feel their best in straight-legged or skinny jeans.
ANDEE SAYS: Why limit yourself to just one pair? Go for something in each style, plus right now guys, women are loving the knee-high boots so get her into some skinny jeans and take her boot shopping.

The Mandatory LBD

2. The Little Black Dress
Ever since Audrey Hepburn donned a sleek black dress for the iconic Breakfast at Tiffany’s look, the LBD has been hailed as the epitome of timeless style. A flattering black frock is not only appropriate for almost any occasion, it’s oh-so easy to throw on and look fabulous—instantly!
ANDEE SAYS: No self-respecting woman would be without one. I love mine ... LOVE! Here’s a tip for an incredible weekend night of sex; suck it up and go dress shopping with her. Have her try on tons of great dresses. You get to see her looking gorgeous all day, she feels like you notice … incredible electricity when the lights go down!

3. Nude High Heels
You already know that sky-high heels can do wonders for making a more svelte-looking you, but flesh-colored pumps are serious slimming miracle-workers. The neutral color is not only easy to match with just about anything, but also it creates the illusion of long legs by showcasing one continuous line all the way down to your toes. Keep a pair of nude pumps in your closet to ensure you’ll have the skinny on effortless, flattering style whenever you need it most.
ANDEE SAYS: Never been a fan of the “nude” colour in shoes. I asked a couple of high-heels loving experts I know (down boys, down) and their advice is funky, black stilettos … naturally. That said, I get more comments on my leopard print heels than most others. Maybe shoes might be the true opportunity to take some risks?

The Button-down Shirt

4. Oxford Shirt
Everyone needs a piece of clothing that provides instant polish with virtually no effort, and if there was ever a magical item that could do that, it’d the collared white Oxford shirt. The tailored lines and structured fit ensure you’ll look your most put-together whether you’re heading to an interview or running errands.
ANDEE SAYS: You know, I always thought guys would go for sexy lingerie, skin tight jeans, etc. As I have gotten a little older I have learned that outside of the bedroom and night club, the biggest “office distraction” is the very business-like button-down. White, black, red … when I’m want some attention away from home, these never fail me.

5. Pencil Skirt
The ever-flattering pencil skirt is the female version of the power suit. It does wonders for highlighting curves and elongating your lower half for a timeless and chic silhouette and is a must-have for any working woman or about-town gal!
ANDEE SAYS: Only if you’re taller than 5’5” … I’m short and these skirts make me look even shorter. Even with the killer heels.

6. Trench Coat
There’s not outerwear that’s better at highlighting a woman’s shape than the trench. It cinches and defines a waist, while the lapels and structured shoulders highlight a hourglass figure. Not only flattering, a trench can be worn from the first nips of crisp fall weather all the way through spring thaw!
ANDEE SAYS: They’re also necessary for those office fantasies … you know, where you just slip on a pair of sexy black thigh highs, heels and head to your man’s office for some serious desk-sex. You might want to think about that guys, buy her a classic one and she might just ditch that old Dale Earnhardt NASCAR jacket. Well, unless that’s your idea of sexy.

Andee     xoxo

Drive Me | Sex On Wheels

A nice weekday off for me today, so here I am sitting in my bathrobe with a towel on my head, writing “y'all” about my chat this morning with an online friend. I know, hardly the glamorous look you had in mind. Such is the life of a closet porn star, according to my husband!

Anyway, my ever-inquisitive friend and I were discussing a recent survey that suggested the car is North American’s second favourite place to have sex – with the bedroom as No. 1. I think this includes the steamy-windows, back row at the drive-in movies and the secluded “Inspiration Point”, but he was suggesting it may also include sex while the car was in motion.

So, it came to be (I know, bad pun) had I ever had sex while driving?

I can say, not the whole act ... and I was not the driver.

I had read somewhere about this girl who gave her boyfriend a blowjob while they were driving somewhere, so I decided to give it a try. The idea of it was extremely erotic, and I like to explore when the mood hits. So, there we were, driving along a back road and I began to tease him, then unzipped his jeans to begin the fun. To be honest, it's a very awkward position … even without the seat belt. Safety first, you know! ;-)

And although we did have quite a bit of fun with it at the time, it's definitely not a regular occasion for us...not yet anyway.

That said, a much better experience for me is when I drive him crazy by playing with myself until I cum while he is driving. It's something that I have done on a number of occasions. The first time I did that was long before we were married. We were coming home from an office dinner party and I was wearing this cute little dress, so it was pretty easy access. I had been drinking a fair bit, so I was feeling pretty adventurous and damn horny. Earlier in the evening my guy had dared me to go to the bathroom and slip off my panties. I did, and then slipped them into his jacket pocket while I whispered some dirty talk into his ear. They never made it back onto me and I managed to get him to agree to leave earlier than most everyone else. I had plans.

As we were driving home, he was joking about those guys who hang garters they get at weddings and such on the mirror, so he slipped my cute little white panties onto the rear view and away we went. He was teasing me with his hand as we drove along and in no time I was incredibly turned on, so after a bit more of this, I put my feet on the dashboard and went to work on my own.

We eventually had to stop the car for a little more activity though! It is equally difficult for the guy to keep up any kind of manual pleasure on a female passenger for a long time while he is trying to drive.

Thinking back on it now, I might just have to talk him into taking me for a little country drive this weekend!

Andee    xoxo

Taboos | What Remains 'Forbidden'

This is a bit of a deeper one that came up a couple weeks ago with one of my girlfriends. She has been really struggling with getting back into the dating scene after a divorce and is finding that a lot of guys out there have some pretty “bizarre” ideas when the relationship goes behind closed doors.

She was wondering if there are any taboos left in life. It’s hard to describe what she is really trying to figure out … on one level, there are some pretty obvious taboos: anything involving children, animals or jail time. On another level, I think she is also trying to understand that, with age and experience, comes an expectation of a higher level of acceptance for “experimentation” when you become intimate with a new partner.

The conversation started out as one of those almost rhetorical statements, but my husband says I’m a bit like a 12-year old with a stick in front of a campfire … poke, poke, poke. I just can’t leave it alone; and far from me to let the chance pass for a good sex talk.

It would be nice to think that dating after a marriage has dissolved would allow us to return to the excitement and newness of what it was like when we were teenagers, but the reality is we all have a bit of road experience. That innocent and naïve nature has long since moved on. Most of us have been around the block a couple times by this point in life; and while swinging naked from the crystal chandelier in the front hall may not be everyone’s average weekend, the truth is we know you’ve done ‘it.’ Now it’s just down to the excitement of learning someone new’s tastes and techniques.

I opened up to my friend about some of the “taboos” that I have broken; from my website and videos through to exploring sexual adventure with other couples. These are things that I very rarely get to share with anyone, so I think it was therapeutic for both of us. Not to mention a few glasses of wine.

For her, I know there was some shock value - her ideas of taboos are rooted purely in somewhat ‘normal’ sex acts. Her new dating experiences recently have left her trying to answer to those ideas. I was a bit shocked to learn that someone who spent almost 15 years with the same man still considered some things “off limits.” I don’t know if it helped her specifically to hear that every now and then my husband and I dress up and head out to a lifestyle club, that I experiment with other women, but I was hoping for her to see that life is meant to be experienced. Some of my exploits with my husband could be construed by some as “cheating” by some, while others may think “I wish my partner was willing.”

The idea of “swinging” remains a huge taboo in our culture. When I look around at my own little world, it’s not something I can admit to the majority of people in my life. Even my parents – they know about my website, but it stops there – and they only know about that out of preservation, not permission. I can’t go to work and tell my coworkers that Saturday was Sexy Schoolgirl Nite, so I bought this cute little pink plaid kilt, new thigh-highs and then spent most of the evening kissing some guy’s wife while he felt me up under that little costume. Society just isn’t ready to accept that some consenting adults can, and will, explore their sexual boundaries.

Personally, I believe there is a point in our lives when we come to accept that some of the hang-ups we have carried with us no longer hold water. As we mature, and for me, as I have ventured down this path of sexual exploration, the small things have faded. I’ve learned that the only way I will ever know if I like - or don’t like - something is through trying. I reached, quite consciously, a stage where I said I didn’t want to be one of those people in the nursing home telling my PSW: “I wish I had of, when I had the chance …”

Some taboos - especially the sexual ones - seem very rooted in a moralistic ideal; something that I learned to shed. Of course, there are things that must remain off limits as I mentioned earlier; but there comes a point where you need to know what it is that makes something in your mind ‘taboo.’ Is it a long-held moral belief? Is it a fear of the unknown?

Are there any taboos left? You bet there are … but I think, for the most part, we hold a couple very close in common, while a lot of others are different for each of us. You just have to ask yourself what it is that makes it so.

Andee     xoxo

Haven't I Seen You Someplace Before?

Mid-week and I never thought it would get here. Actually I am kind of dreading today. I’m am writing the final exam to my last course that I have to take for my profession. Unlike high school and college, the pass level on this one is 80% … and I never do well on tests.

And then if I get past this one, I have two regulatory exams waiting for me … oh, it’s going to be a long summer - and not in a good way.

Anyway, taking a moment here to get my mind off those kinds of things. Besides, I’m sure you guys would prefer to read something a little less mundane. I dug this one from something that I had written a while back on a different site. It’s pretty relevant still, and it wasn’t too long ago that this subject came up again.

Has anyone for the net ever seen you in public? Do you ever meet anyone from on the net?

The first answer I think I might have touched on before. To my knowledge, no one that I didn’t already know has ever said anything to me. Some of my close friends have seen me on here and other sites – but that has usually been because they learned about it from me. I have not had anyone ever approach me in public and say, “Aren’t you Andee?”

Personally, I think it would take a lot of courage to do so … but, then again …

I have been asked a couple times in e-mails if I was at a certain place at a certain time, but neither were actually me. I live in the shadows of a very large city, so it’s relatively easy to not have too many fears about the crossing of my day-to-day life and “Andee.” Of course, it also helps not having that poster hanging in the post office anymore ...

As for the meeting…well, not really. Wishy-washy, I know, but the truth is, reality sucks!

What you all get to see online is the fantasy that my husband and I have created. My day-to-day life is exceptionally boring compared to the online persona of “Andee.” Yes, all the experiences are really mine, but you all don’t get all the parts about doing laundry, running my kids around to various activities, cleaning a dead birds’ nest from my dryer vent, etc. Let’s not even get into all the work that goes into making me look presentable for the pics ;-) Real life isn’t all that glamourous!

The excitement of the Internet and things like this, where I can relive some of our memories through my blog and safely explore exhibitionism and our sexual adventure together is something that we enjoy. It also “condenses” all of the good stuff, you know, so I can find a little escape from the drab and dull reality of being a relatively average person.

Having said that, the possibility of meeting someone – in a controlled situation – seemed like a very exciting idea to me. Which is why through my website we tried a “Meet Me” Auction. The concept was something that another Charm model shared with us; and while she had great success with hers, mine is currently sitting at a “three strikes” point.

The first time never materialized as the winner didn’t come through with his side of the arrangement. The second time was very nice, but nothing close to the original thoughts I had. (Reality is much different). A long-time online friend of mine secured the winning bid, and when we met for the “date” it was a marvelously wonderful evening as all three of us (hubby is included) simply shared a nice dinner, couple of drinks and talked for hours. So while it solidified our friendship beyond the website, it didn’t challenge my plans.

The third and final time wasn’t bad, a bit more intriguing, but still didn’t meet my expectations for why I agreed to try the idea one more time. A failure to understand that the agreement could not be changed “on the fly” and someone’s over-confidence in thinking they could “negotiate in person to bend my rules” left both sides somewhat disappointed.

So now I sit and remain a bit reluctant to try again. There’s still part of me that would like the chance to make the concept work, but for now it remains just that … thoughts.

I know some girls who run little “contests” and such for “dates” and in-person meetings, but I also know that those “meet me” sessions are thinly-veiled escort services - which isn’t even close to what I’m about. And that is probably why my concept has never really taken off; because sex isn’t in the equation.

That said, anyone with some ideas can certainly share them.

Andee     xoxo

Get Her To Pose For You | Tip #1

A while back I was writing an answer to a question that one of you guys had asked me. It was on how to get your wife/girlfriend to pose for some … um … naughty photos.

At the time I tried to present a pretty good idea that there were a few things that had to be overcome before that would likely happen. But then, after some thought, I figured there was probably a few out there that might actually have a real interest in trying it; maybe not to the extent that my husband and I do, but you know, we didn’t start out thinking we were going to do an adult website.

So, after sitting down with my ‘photographer partner’ I have come up with some basic ideas that will help you along if you really want to get some sexy photo shoots going. Over the next few Tuesdays I’ll present my thoughts and suggestions on what I tend to keep in mind when we shoot. But please keep in mind that we’re just a couple of regular people like you … so all of this is just coming from experience and not any kind of real expertise. I just hope it helps you out, if this is something you and your partner want to try.

Super Sexy: heels & man's shirt

So now she has said “maybe” to letting you take some photos for “personal pleasure only.” Probably the one thing going on in her mind before it moves to the “yes” stage is what would she wear. I know there are other factors before getting to “yes,” and I’ll touch on the biggest one later on. But if she has any comfort with taking it forward, she’s going to be pretty typical - “What do I wear? What do you think is sexy?”

This is someone we all struggle with. Even after some 22,000 photos on my website alone - plus hundreds of others for different things in life - the idea of clothing never gets easy. I’ve tried to present a wide array of looks for my website fans, from “naughty nursery rhyme” characters to as close to the everyday me you can get to pseudo BDSM. I’ve bought costumes off eBay, travelled to lingerie trade shows, sex shops and, thankfully, had some very special guys send me items for updates.

But guys, for the first time … have a plan. Have something in mind that doesn’t come with attachments for the chandelier in the foyer, and try to keep it somewhat “traditional” to ease into the whole thing.

For this kind of photo set, you might think of lingerie as the go to … and there is nothing wrong with that. The traditional stockings and garter belt is a pretty safe concept. In the almost 10 years that I have been doing my website, this look remains as one of the most requested. In fact, back before my husband and I got into the amateur porn for other people’s viewing pleasure, I would wear black stockings and garter belt for those early photo sessions - they were also one of the first pieces of lingerie he bought me.

When I first brought the idea of this series up to him, and about the clothing, the first thing out of his mouth was “one of my dress shirts.” A lot of guys really seem to like this idea, heck there’s rock video after rock video with some sexy chick rolling around a bed in the guy’s dress shirt. Personally, I’m at a loss why you guys find this look sexy - but there is not a single hormone in my body that will complain.

And although I searched high and low for a copy … I honestly think they are in storage somewhere … the very first photo session I did for my guy - before we were married and topless for the first time ever on camera. I was ’barely legal’ and my breasts were amazing. God I wish I had them back … Anyway, for the photos I was in a pair of sexy black jeans, a western-style vest and cowboy hat. I know, very cliché for a small-town farm girl. But guess what? He got me topless for a sexy photo shoot.

Things only got more kinky from there …

Andee     xoxo

Contraception | From Beavers To Sneezes

Last week I posted a cute little “did you know” thing on Twitter about some very strange contraceptive items from ancient times. The specifics were: wooden blocks, lemon rinds and alcohol-soaked sea sponges.

I found it pretty funny that people would come up with these ideas for the prevention of pregnancy. My co-worker and I started chatting about the different ways to keep from getting knocked up unexpectedly … and it just digressed from there.

Personally I haven’t tried a wide variety of contraceptives; pretty much the standards of modern society. A couple times after I lost my virginity, I went the exceptionally risky route of the ‘rhythm method.’ Fortunately for me that didn’t last, as that relationship went the way of a used condom … which is what I pretty much made any guy after that wear. A couple of times I tried ’oral contraception’ - which meant, no glove, no love - but I might be horny enough to give you a blowjob ... until I started dating the guy who became my husband. About three months into our relationship, I went on the pill. Only when we were ready to have children did things change, and then I had him neutered when we had our family set.

But there are some pretty bizarre ideas out there for preventing pregnancy, so I thought it would be fun to come up with a list of the craziest ways I could find:

1. Beaver testicle tea - you got it, eh. A Canadian idea that is still in practice in some remote communities today. Gives a whole new meaning to lick my beaver … I prefer Orange Pekoe myself. And please, spay and neuter your pets.
2. Crocodile dung - Ancient Egyptians made a paste out of it and honey and applied it inside the vagina. I would guess this would also cut down on cunnilingus as well. I prefer a purse made from the pooper in question … but don’t tell PETA.
3. Squat & Sneeze - practiced by the Greeks in and around 120-138 AD instructed the woman to clutch her breast after sex, perform a squat and produce a sneeze. Don’t think it works, but it explains some of the idea that Greeks like it in the behind; she’s got buns of steel, for sure.
4. Leather condoms - 1800s Japan men wore these. I’ve seen kinkier leather choices, but as a woman I’m thankful Johnson & Johnson kept up with their innovative manufacturing methods. And it tells me a lot about the Japanese man I know …
5. A Kenny G / Michael Bolton CD mix - one of my personal favourites, but proceed with caution because it can also produce drowsiness in the user and a dance frenzy in gay men.

And please, if you have children, educate them … you’ll sleep easier knowing they got the right information about lemons, sponges and wooden blocks.

Andee     xoxo

Hedonism | Is It Just A Fantasy

Good lord … I had some ignorant cow of a woman sitting in front of me on the train yesterday smacking away on her gum like it was cud - and for those who have no idea about how cattle eat, visit a farm or join me on the commute.

If there is one thing that drives me insane, it’s the absolute ignorance of some people in public - from smacking on chewing gum to spitting on the sidewalk.

Disgusting.

Anyway … time to move on to better subjects. This is post 100! Woohoo ... time to celebrate with another cafe mocha and bagel.

I know I will probably hear it afterwards, but lately my hubby has been dropping hints about getting away to an island vacation … without the kids … to one of ‘those resorts.’ OK, not so shocking in my life, really. But I’ll reluctantly admit that it has brought up some curiosities. Not ever having been, and having a bit of the mystery dispelled from the fantasy of a swinging lifestyle by going to clubs and events, I’m left wondering if the hype is all that, or are these kind of resorts filled with people who think the reality can live up to the fantasies they have created?

And no one I know has admitted they have been, so I can’t even ask …

In my own experience, the reality is so different. Fantasies don’t include those awkward moments, the not so glamorous moments that arise … the drunken laughter and less than perfect timing. Even to say that when you spend half a lifetime kissing the same person, in the same manner, it can take a couple tries to figure out someone new’s own style. That’s not to say the realities have not been fun; it’s just highlighting that when you try to make something happen, the effort is what can get in the way.

Secretly - but I guess not so much anymore - I’m more than game for a naughty little jaunt to Hedonism. I think it would a very exciting adventure if you go without any expectations and objectives (other than a tan). As I mull it over in my own mind I even wonder if I could let go of my own inhibitions long enough to enjoy the full Hedonism experience. And then there is the question of "what is the full hedonism experience?" Is it a week of unabated, guiltless frolicking in a constant orgy? I just can’t see it being so … in a realistic sense.

Even when I look on their website, I can’t grasp that the Playboy type model emerging from the pool would be there the week we book.

So, I left the idea to fill his mind with something: I said it would make a great 40th birthday gift. Typical husband - he suggested 39th. I think I heard him rolling the spare change from the kids’ piggy bank.

Andee     xoxo

Who Am I When You're Not Looking

Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone. I’ll wear my “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” button today … not because I’m Irish, but just because it’s a great way to get some smooching in!

I might even put on my “lucky” panties and get Mr. Andee all liquored up on Guinness!

And speaking of husbands, it’s kind of funny how something gets in your head, and then you really start to analyze the whole thing. Just after we finished doing my first video blog last weekend, in a totally unrelated moment, my husband made a passing comment about a song that was playing on the radio. Now guys, strong stomachs here because I am a country music fan; not a die-hard, but I grew up with country music and enjoy it still. Don’t hold it against me; if you saw Tim McGraw without a shirt, you’d love country music too!

The song was by Blake Shelton, called “Who Are You When I’m Not Looking.” I’m not really a fan of his, but when the song was done, I went and watched the video on YouTube, and it kind of struck me. It’s about a girl and what mysteries she holds when he is not around; what is she like when no one is watching, and the things she does.

I think it struck a chord (boo …) with me because what has been going on in my life these days is very much like what he was singing about, the “what goes on behind closed doors“ idea, and the facade that we put on around others.

I’m sure to many who frequent my little banter here and my website have a totally different notion of who I am. But in reality, I’m still so far removed from this woman. I’m not the constant lustful sexual explorer that it may seem like I am in my updates.

Who am I when you’re not looking?

I’m still the scared little girl sometimes; someone who struggles to understand what it is you see when you are looking. I’m the fragile princess who needs lots of reassurance. I’m the “wallflower” who has to make a conscious effort to put on a brave face some days.

I’m the Mom who cries when she has to scold her children. I’m the Mother Bear who will kick your ass with my Reeboks should you cross my little “cubs.”

I’m the small-town girl-next-door who stares at those heels and thinks they’re just not sensible. I’m the “liberal-minded” woman who will wear them because I know how they will make my legs look.

I’m still the awkward adolescent that wants to be seen as sexy, but constantly pulls down on the hem of that miniskirt you asked me to wear. I’m the woman who openly scoffs when you call her “hot” but quietly smiles inside so not to appear vain.

I’m the wannabe rock star who sings loudly to the music on my iPod when I’m at home baking in the kitchen alone. I’m not always the innocent, “check my e-mails while the cookies are in the oven“ type, because 12 minutes is more than I need to visit a fantasy or two with fresh Duracells.

I’m the woman who wants that other guy to notice her, and is grateful to see she can still turn his head.

I’m the girl-next-door who knows you’re stealing a peek through the blinds when I’m tanning in my backyard on a sunny day. And I’m the “MILF” who will occasion tan topless when my husband is at work…and will text him all about it.

So, who am I when you’re not looking?

I’m the woman with a passion for adventure, but with a timid soul and a need for love.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Is it a Bartering Tool?

Here’s a bit more fun for you today guys … at least I hope that it how this turns out for you. It’s March Break around here, which means even more juggling skills come into play. Sometimes I think I’ll give up my chosen career and join the circus; flaming bowling pins and turbo charged chainsaws seem a little amateur after some of my days.

Anyway, this is an age-old question, and one that comes up every now and then in my chats with some online friends.

Have you ever given or taken sexual favours in return for something (money, drugs, drinks, dinner, transportation, help with something)?

Do presents count? Jewellery? My engagement ring? LOL ... Actually, no. I'm not sure I could really do the whole swap for sex thing. Sex with me goes one of two ways: emotional or recreation. I find myself, after being with the same man for 20 years, that there needs to be that emotional connection.

However, lately we have been having a lot of fun exploring on a more recreational level with another couple. It is a whole new dimension after being monogamous for so long. It has helped me explore my bi-sexual side, confirmed a few of my own suspicions (LOL...I know you're reading), and brought a huge flame back into my sex life with my husband.

Now, outside of that exploration, there are varying levels of motivation - on both parties’ behalf. There are moments when I know that if I want to ‘persuade’ my husband to do something with me outside of the bedroom, he is much more easily convinced after a mind-blowing BJ. And I am not naïve enough to think that he hasn’t invested a little extra energy into some sessions so that a night out with the boys or a long business trip isn’t met with my disappointment.

Is that ‘trading sex’ or just part of a normal, healthy give-and-take relationship? Probably a bit of both.

I will admit to a minor bit of sexuality to getting things - but not sex. And, I whole-heartily believe this is the norm: but like many women, I have flirted playfully and shamelessly in social settings to get guys to buy me drinks. I do need to add that, as horrible as that sounds, I have also offered every time to pay for my own - and I do not take it to the extreme that some women I know do.

Playful sexual innuendo, polite conversation and respectful temporary companionship have been my thing in those moments, so my agenda wasn’t as ‘gold-digging’ as some. I have always been honest with the guys in those situations - making sure they notice my wedding ring so not to get any suggestion that there is anything more coming later.

And then there is the darker side: does my website fit into this? Could it be seen by others that I am doing exactly that by posing for naughty photos and selling amateur sex videos?

I don’t know where I stand on that angle. But on a personal, physical level could I, or would I, use sex as a bartering tool. It's not my nature...although as I have said, I suppose everyone has their price ;-)

Andee     xoxo

Video Blog | About Sharing My Sex Life

"Hey guys, not long ago someone asked me why I decided to write my blog, and spill so much about my sex life..."

Andee     xoxo

Self-Doubts | We All Have Them

Sorry I haven't been blogging much the past week guys, I've been spending quite a bit of time preparing for the final exam in my last work course. It's going to be a tough one, so I have been putting a lot of my energy into that. Then, once I get that behind me, I get to move on to the regulatory exam - but only after I donate a kidney to pay for the sitting fee! Sheesh ...

I also have my first video blog almost ready to go, but I need to get my hubby to clean up a bit of the ramblings. I'll get that posted in the next couple of days for you. It was a bit awkward at first, but I think I'll get the hang of it. I don't know if 'blogging protocol' says you are supposed to edit the darn things, but given it was my first time (not many of those left!) I want it to be coherent.

It was also a good time to reflect a bit on the past few months since I started up this blog. For me, going back on it all, I kind of started thinking, "Are you guys really all that interested in me?" I think we all have moments of self-doubt and wonder ... and perhaps that was one of those for me.

As people, we're all a little voyeuristic. I don't mean just in a 'sexual' way, but rather that we all have this natural curiosity about other people. Call it people-watching; but none the less, we are inquisitive types. I know I am for sure. And although I try very hard to not be, I think our modern times have also made us all a little narcissistic. It's a huge reason why social media has become popular (OK, I did borrow that one!). We like to 'quietly' let others into our lives and see just what it is we are up to.

When I started my little venture here, I didn't consciously think that this was going to turn into such a revealing look at my thoughts, fantasies and secrets. It was more about me having a running diary of my adventure so I could occupy my commutes to work, and share a little insight with my husband. Since then I've become braver, more curious about a lot of things, and hopefully a little better writer. A big part of me didn't think I would get 100 readers, and now as I'm coming up to four months of sharing, the numbers have climbed to 31,000.

I honestly don't know if that is good or bad. I hear that there are blogs that get hundreds of thousands ... but I doubt those are for some small-town girl's random and occasionally naughty thoughts that she types out on public transportation.

But that hasn't given me a lot of insight into why, if at all, you guys are interested. What makes someone drawn into these things, and keeps them coming back?

I'd love to know, if you care to share.

Andee     xoxo

All Tied Up | The World of Domination

Well, it has been one of those weeks for me. Thankfully I have tomorrow off, so I will be dedicating some of my time to my website, and some to finally getting those video blogs rolling. I have some great ideas, I think. Now I just need the time to get to them.

I’m also really looking forward to having a date night with my hubby. I think we’re going to take in a fun adult trade show that is coming to town. We went last year and ended up spending way too much money on things with way too little fabric! But, it’s a very sexually charged night out and I can’t wait for a little adult time in my week.

Speaking of adult time, here's a little more insight into my formerly private sex life ...

"I’ve heard that some women fantasize about the idea of being sexually controlled (in a consensual way, of course). Have you ever been tied up during sex?"

Hmmm…well, just how much should I reveal about myself and my own little perversions? LOL

I’m a pretty open girl as a lot of you are learning. I’ve dabbled in a few different things and played around and most of you have pretty much been invited into my sex life thanks to my blog. And like so many other things, yes I have tried a little light bondage. Nothing painful or kinky mind you…just some nice, sexually teasing bondage … kind of what you get out of my latest video.

I’ve never been one to really get into the idea of domination - either being dominated or doing the dominating. I might do some photo sets that way, but “hard core” role playing isn’t something that is a big part of my libido.

But I do admit, there is a strange sensual feeling about being restrained while someone does some very sexual things to you. The biggest part to make sure that it is a turn-on is trust. I trust my husband to do only things that I’m OK with, and that are sexually exciting and not degrading. If you cross that line of trust, then it no longer is a truly sexual experience.

It’s really hot to be getting into the whole thing, surrendering myself so that my partner can tie me up. I prefer to be tied either on my back, spread eagle or my tummy. Nothing pretzelish. A few times I have been blindfolded, which really heightens the sense of not knowing what is coming next…not being able to see where your lover is headed, and then the slight surprising sensation as they touch you. It’s really erotic if my lover keeps moving, maybe one time kissing my lips, then lightly touching the inside of my thigh, then my breast, and so on. I love it when this kind of foreplay goes on and on before he even goes near that certain spot. If I’m really into it, by the time he does, I’m almost exploding. Then I’m practically begging for some action.

Andee     xoxo 

Moving Pictures | My Live-Action Fears

I had mentioned in one of my earlier blogs that I got this sense that a lot of what is happening on the Internet these days - particularly in areas such as my naughty little hobby - is headed towards more and more video-based content.

On the advice of my husband I have temporarily forgone the saucy romance novels for my daily commute for a couple of books on marketing and social media. Part of it has been to encourage me further with my blogging and becoming more active in the behind the scenes part of my website. I suggested, in turn, he get his “nekkid ass” to the frontlines. But for now I think he is settling for a mutual appearance with me. I love him dearly, but I do suspect you guys may be in this for me, and not so much for him … pardon the brief flash of vanity.

For me, the idea of more videos is kind of a scary direction. I’ve never considered myself an actress, and doing a lot of the videos I do for you guys takes a certain amount of working up to. I always feel a little awkward in them, and struggle to get into “character.” Often when we are putting on all the final touches my hubby will get frustrated with me commenting on how ridiculous I sound or look, etc., and send me to the couch to watch TV while he works on the final version.

It took me a long time before I introduced any videos onto my site because I could never truly feel comfortable doing them. And while I do have over 20 available - with the latest one going up this week - it was a big change in my plans for this thing. I spent a long time trying to internally justify the photos, and then adding the pressure of video sent me into cold sweats.

It’s challenging to see myself doing something of those things without my conscience questioning my fate. And now with the idea of the web headed into more videos, I find myself struggling to come up with reasonable ideas to present; or at least ideas that will sell and not make you go “WTF is that about?”

I’m not sure what it is that intimidates me so much. I guess part of it is how “live action” brings more of the real me behind “Andee” to the surface. And that real me is a very shy and reserved person at best. I never considered how my “work” would “humanize” the whole idea. Doing picture sets is fairly easy because I don’t have to act much. When things aren’t working, we can edit out those moments, or fake it. With video, however, you have to be a bit more engaging.

I think something else that scares me about doing them is how much will they spoil the fantasy - or how much will they create it. The unknown is always a bit frightening, regardless if it is sex or the Haunted House at Halloween. Like so many others, uncertainty for me is a stressful thing.

Andee     xoxo

Swinging | Losing My Lifestyle Virginity

One of my online friends asked me this the other night. I think I’ve probably answered it a few times before, but I've never sat down to put it all out there for you guys.

My husband and I first got into the idea of exploring a little something outside of our “traditional” relationship shortly after we launched my website. In the whole idea of creating this new hobby, we had signed up for Messenger, MSN, chatrooms - all kinds of places that we might use to raise awareness that we were now doing photos online. At first it was a bit daunting, but after a couple months I had gotten caught up quite a bit with online chatting, and webcamming … exploring was a bit of a new thing for me and I liked how I felt.

Through that more than a few conversations emerged about my thoughts and fantasies of another person joining us in the bedroom. I wasn’t completely ready to admit to my husband at the time that I was more than willing to venture into that experience for real, although my imagination would run wild at the thought.

I would have conversations with some of my online friends around that idea, sometimes taking it to some very interesting places – yes guys, as in cybersex. To be honest, it was an exciting and dark time for me. I was having a great deal of fun online, but didn’t really pay attention to how it was affecting my relationship at home. I was putting more effort into getting online than I was getting some for real, and started to keep a few too many "secrets" about what I was up to when my hubby wasn't home. But after some time, we worked through a lot of the difficulties and arguments – only to realize that we had grown a lot stronger and closer as a couple, and still shared in a lot of those fantasies.

It led us to the point of sharing the fun and excitement as a couple, through which we discovered a couple of lifestyle websites (swingers) … and then one time my husband came home from the adult store with a brochure for a lifestyle club not far from where we live. We tried the club a few times and really got into how it made us feel, the sexuality, the adventure …

The next step seemed kind of logical. We could either try to meet another couple at one of the clubs, or we could try a website designed for dating as couples… we did the website. Eventually we met and chatted with a couple online that kind fit our interests and level of experience. They, too, were just exploring and “dipping their toes” into the whole scene.

We met a few times with these new friends, slowly discovering a bit more territory, but never quite going anywhere. My husband and I reached the moment when we had to simply say that they were great people, fun to hang with, but just didn’t have that sexual chemistry that was going to take away our virginity in the swinging scene.

In the meantime, I had a few of my own experiences discovering more about my bi-curiosity with another woman; which only served as fuel for my fire to take things further.

It took a little over a year before that really came about…and in a bit of an unexpected way. We were at a neighbour’s house with a bunch of friends one night when I got into a pretty deep conversation with one of the guys there. We were stood alone in the kitchen for over an hour just talking, with the level of sex in the conversion edging higher and higher. I don’t know if it was that sexually charged innuendo, or the drinks, but I ended up telling him about my website. We chatted about it for a while about it…then when he said he and his wife were going out to the garage for a cigarette, I tagged along and the conversation continued with her there.

We stood out there for probably another hour. The time never really occurred to me, as I was enjoying this new found liberation of finally being able to talk to someone about my site other than my husband and sister. We were talking about things like the outfits, my tattoo and nipple ring - how those came about, etc. - when in a very humourous, movie-style moment, just as I was showing them my nipple ring, my husband opened the door … lots of explaining to him after the fact.

Later that night, when we were at home (around 2:00 a.m.), me horny as a rabbit from what happened earlier and getting busy in bed, the phone rang. It was our friend asking what the website URL was so he and his wife could "just have a quick look" at what I had been telling them. I talked with him for a little bit while my hubby was going down on me. The guy must have sensed something was not entirely "right" with the conversation and apologized for calling so late. I told him everything was alright and then explained to him exactly what was going on at that very moment. I described in pretty good detail how it was working for me, and whatnot. It was the first time I think I ever had phone sex in a literal sense!

It was an exceptionally erotic moment; which also took our adventure to a new level.

A few weeks later, the four of us got together for the first time and pushed the limits a bit more. Then the next time we got together, after a bit of hot tub fun, we went into the bedroom and carried on a bit more. That night was the first time is almost 20 years that another man had touched me in all those delicious places. And the first time I woman had ever brought me to orgasm.

My sex life had now entered a whole new stage.

Andee     xoxo

Beginnings | How Things Have Changed

Ever have one of the days … you know, where you just can’t wait for that door to close behind you as you leave.

Sheesh.

Anyway, yesterday I was telling you about how my naughty little hobby all came together. The second part to Bushmonke’s question was what has changed in the years that I have been doing the website. I had to think about this one quite a bit; I wasn’t sure if he meant what had changed with me, or what changes have I seen overall, with the site, etc.

Settle in guys, this is a bit longer than normal. Free cheesy-poofs to everyone who gets to the end in one piece.

On a personal level, quite a lot has changed since my website went live in July 2002. Perhaps the biggest has been the beginning of a whole new kind of sexual adventure - of which I have blogged about quite a bit.

When I first started, I was pretty naïve about the idea of having a website and what it might mean. I never considered how it would become a big part of my life at home with my husband - nor did I imagine it would become a big part of some of your lives. Over the years I have chatted with hundreds of different guys who have visited my site, become members, and some who have become friends. I learned that for a few, women like me - web models - become a big solution to their loneliness. And for others, a big part of their fantasies.

Andee / Circa 1994

I never expected that some would even want advice from me, but I have spent time as a “relationship counsellor,” “dating expert” and “virtual girlfriend.” I’ve had cyber sex, webcammed and held “Meet Me” auctions.

But the biggest change, which may not have been what you were really looking for, is how my life and future has been affected by my choices. I have a hobby that I can’t share with my dearest friends, and only told my family out preservation from meddling people. I can’t tell people at work that I spent the weekend doing hardcore videos and photo shoots. I can’t tell my frustrated girlfriends which sex toy will make their hair stand on end in mere seconds; and I can’t call in sick on Monday and tell them my friction burn is too bad for me to work.

That said, I admit that I put more conscious effort into the things I do for my website. I take (most) criticism as constructive, and I try often to invite you guys into my little world. My lingerie collection has grown to “hoarding” status … and I’ve put several sex toys into retirement! When the economy tanked, I made sure the folks at Duracell had no fears of a slowdown in battery sales.

What hasn’t changed is that I’m still trying to figure out what you guys really like to see from me, and if there is a true niche that I fit into … and let’s be honest, I’m also constantly trying to find ways to keep you guys interested in what I’m offering so you will stick with me and not get bored and move on.

And then there’s the darker reality. Any ambitions I had for a more “public” life will never happen. Pornography doesn’t go away, even if you take down a website. Thousands of my pictures are out there and I can’t take them back. My decisions at any one point can turn against me.

On the upside … I have been able to explore a level of sexuality that kind of sat in the back of my imagination. Through my website, and what it has done for me in terms of being a more sexually in-tune person, I have lived some incredible fantasies. I doubt I would have ever made any attempts to satisfy my bi-sexual curiosities if I didn’t have my site. I doubt I would have been a willing and enthusiastic participant in exploring the swinging side of life (but I still harbour much more curiosity there).

I’ll save what it has meant to my relationship with my husband for another day ;-)

On a more general level, in the nine years I have been doing my version of amateur porn, there has been many changes.

While it doesn’t seem all that long ago when I started, there have been a number of trends in amateur porn. It used to be that a really hot photo set attracted an awful lot of attention, then the trend went to a bit more multi-media - photos, with video clips. These days the trend is definitely moving a lot more aggressively to video. And it’s getting harder to distinguish between the true amateur and the professional porn star with a weekend off.

Then again, can we even say that I’m an amateur anymore?

When we started, just having a page on a website like Southern Charms was something. The site hosted just over 400 different Charms. Today it hovers close to 800, and has added a number of new options, such a video sales and individual photo set sales. As models we have become webmasters and social networking experts. We have turned from naughty housewives into “brands.’

With so much out there on the Internet these days, especially free porn, the competition has increased 10 times over - even on our own website. I mentioned the economy just a few sentences ago, and that has been one of the most dramatic changes I think we’ve seen. Up until 2008, everyone I know was doing quite well. Sales and rebills were stable and we were trying hard to keep all you guys hard.

When the latest collapse came, the industry turned a bit more sour. More free sites emerged, along with all the stolen content - which guys take from our sites and then put on other sites, forums and newsgroups, either pretending they’re us or even bolding admitting theft. But I guess they don’t see it that way. I’m not sure if they would think the same if I just came along, took their car and dropped it off at a used-car lot and said it was mine. For some reason, and it’s a much longer debate than just this, nude images of women are fair game.

Copyright law is catching on, but not fast enough to make the hosts of those kinds of websites and newsgroups feel any pressure.

Still here? As promised, here's your cheesy poofs ...

But then even off of the web I think we are generally becoming a much nastier society. I see it everyday in my job and my commute. There’s no respect anymore.

Along with the more determined marketing schemes, the web in general has changed. Today it is a bigger 2.0 world, which means we also have had to look at ways to make our naughty little hobby a more interactive one.

Andee     xoxo

Beginnings | How I First Got Naked

I have said before that I am a big voyeur. I love to people-watch, and not just in a sexual way. I’m fascinated by others, their habits and how they interact, dress, carry themselves. Right now, as I am tucked into the back corner seat of the train, I’m watching this Dutch couple in front of me. Like I imagine what commuting must be like in Europe, they have brought an almost full breakfast onto the train with them - proper picnic breakfast, not Tim Hortons bagels and coffee. Fruit, crackers, cheese (with a knife?!). These are moments that make these mornings unique and send my mind away from the mundane routine working in the city has become. 

One of the questions I get very now and then - and something most recently asked by my Twitter friend Bushmonke - was how I got started in my naughty little hobby, and what has changed in the years since.  friend

Kind of a loaded backend to that question ;-) 

You know, I don’t think that any woman really grows up with dreams of being a “porn star” - amateur or professional. As we mature, we may embrace the idea, find a comfort level, or fascination with it. But I can’t see a little girl aspiring to it. 

I started my website in July 2002. I bet if you had asked me in July 2001 if I would have been doing something like this I would have said “no way.” 

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I had done some modeling as a teenager, and had some photographic fun of a more adult nature with my husband, but I didn’t aspire to becoming a Southern Charm. There was a number of reasons why things have gone the way they have. Shortly after 9/11/2001, my husband lost his job. While it was a bit of a depressing time - we had a 20-month old and 5-month old - he wasn’t going to be defeated by it. Thankfully, through some business contacts he had in the entertainment industry, he managed to get something going while looking for work back in his primary career. That took about 7 months. 

So, at the stage we were looking at the reality of our situation. We had managed to tread water, but still were left - like so many other people - with some intimidating debt. 

Not connected to that, we never lost our sense of adventure and intimacy as a couple. There were points when I wasn’t exactly feeling like a desirable woman, having just had two children, struggling with our new financial reality as we had agreed I would stay home with our children until they were in school. One weekend, my husband and I made a silly bet, which I lost, and the “consequence” was he was going to prove that I could still attract the attention of other men. At first I had no clue how he was going to do this, until he introduced me to an amateur website, the kind where all the photos are posted by every day women. 

The “dare” was that if I received enough comments on my images to prove the argument, I would then have to post another series; this time more revealing. All that happened, and it wasn’t long after that we got an e-mail from one of the other posters on the site telling us about Southern Charms. We checked it out, read all the info and kind of left it at that for a bit. 

I was surprised by what we discovered though. Up until that point, all I had seen in “porn” on the Internet was professional model sites, and even those were only because I was snooping into someone’s surfing habits! But on SC there were women of all shapes, sizes and ages. I was pretty naïve to the idea that everyday women like me would be into something like this. It was enlightening, shocking, curious and erotic all at the same time. Together we kind of found a new appreciation for this “amateur” stuff. 

I think each of us was quietly thinking the same thing. About a month later my husband asked me, as he was cleaning out the e-mails, what my intentions were with the one about SC. I said: “I don’t know.” After about an hour of not saying anything, he just asked me “Do you want to try it?” 

Secretly I did want to, but was very nervous. This wasn’t just a couple of anonymous photos; this was my own site on the largest amateur website on the web! But it was the opportunity I needed, if for no other reason than to dispel the myth that my husband seemed to have about me, and any kind of broader sexual appeal. 

At first, we were both a bit clueless as to what we should be doing - in everything from photo size and quality to settings and outfits. One of my early sets - the one of me in a pantsuit - was taken after we got home from a friend’s wedding, as we kind of threw things out there. And none of it at the time was really about the money, as much as it was about the adventure and putting some extra spice into our marriage. But that said, with the stress of the debt we had accumulated, getting paid for being naked and having sex (while trying to pretend the camera wasn’t there) was turning into a liberating experience. 

I’m not going to recommend it for everyone – because there are some dark sides you have to prepare for. 

So, it took a while to figure out what was going to work. To this day, I’m still not sure … but I think I have found a little more understanding of the “niche” in where I fit. It was much easier to figure out what I am not as a model … 

It’s now been 9 years and well over 20,000 photos and dozens of mpgs and videos.

TOMORROW: Part 2 - What has changed? 

Andee     xoxo